


how i say "i love you"

by xsimplesoul



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Pitch Perfect 2 canon, t for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsimplesoul/pseuds/xsimplesoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca Mitchell doesn't <i>do</i> "I love you"s.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i'm singing you something

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect or anything familiar.

**"I'm singing you something."**  

She doesn't normally make mixes for people.

Aubrey's too insanely controlling to even consider her arrangements. It's been getting a little annoying.

Maybe even a lot annoying.

In fact, Aubrey should feel special that Beca was even offering.

When the next opportunity arises, she goes for it. It's too bad it completely backfires. The Bellas lose their chance for Lincoln Center, Beca loses her spot on the team (not to mention her dad's bribe), and she loses Jesse.

She's back to square one. Just her and her music.

She spends most of her Spring Break rummaging through shelves of CDs and vinyls. She searches everywhere (clearly, both she and Jesse were awful at being interns) for one CD. It takes her forever to find it, and just as she's about to give up, she finds it in the one place she was forbidden to be in just a week ago.

_The Breakfast Club. 1985._

She only plans on listening to the soundtrack so that she doesn't  _actually_  have to watch the movie. She shuffles the songs, but only listens to "Heart Too Hot To Hold", "We Are Not Alone", and, "Didn't I Tell You" before she cracks and finds the movie on iTunes for rental.

For the first time, she regrets wearing her moody dark makeup.

By the time she's finished watching the movie, she has dark smudges around her eyes and streaks down her cheeks. She's completely embarrassed and confused, because,  _fine,_  she'll admit the movie was great, but there should be no reason as to why she's crying her eyes out.

She remembers the first time the Bellas went bowling together.

She remembers learning each girl's little rituals before they rolled the ball. Aubrey gave the ball an absolutely lethal glare before bowling, and the short hum of contentment whenever she got a strike. She remembers Stacie refusing to put her fingers through the holes and giving it a little push on the ground to send the ball rolling at the slowest pace ever recorded. She remembers Chloe's squeals and Lilly's fast-paced whispering and hand waving and Amy's dance moves with fries spilling out of her hands. She remembers playing each strike or spare that she got with a cool shrug, even though on the inside she wanted to brag all her tiny, cold heart desired.

She remembers Jesse's stupid love of movies and his stupid charming smile and the way his eyes lit up whenever she begrudgingly tells him a movie isn't "as awful as I would've expected." She remembers his lips mouthing to the stupid film that's not even about breakfast, and how her eyes lingered a little too long and how she almost,  _almost_ , gave into her feelings.

She misses her nerds.

She misses her weirdo.

It just hurts her more when everyone comes back and she finds herself being a hermit again. And when she tries to apologize after ignoring it for so long, he slams the door in her face.

* * *

Her dad isn't someone she would seek guidance to. She's glad she tries it out, anyways.

It turns out to be better than expected, and for the first time in a long time, Beca listens to him. She trusts him. Ultimately, she leaves with a new kind of motivation and a lighter, but still quite heavy, heart.

She makes a mash-up for Jesse using some of the songs from The Breakfast Club and adds a few new songs as well, saving it onto a flash drive to give to him. She plans on taping it to his door or hanging it around his door knob with string or maybe just sliding it through the crack under his door, but just as she's on her way over to his building, Chloe sends her a text about the ICCAs and Lincoln Center and the Bellas reuniting, and suddenly she's walking in the other direction.

The flash drive that she's been carrying around in her pocket never makes it to Jesse. She's too busy spilling her guts out (figuratively, not literally. That's Aubrey's doing) to the Bellas to even remember it. It's only until Aubrey surrenders the pitch pipe and she's asking for song suggestions from the girls when she finds herself fiddling with it in her pocket. She considers using it for finals, but she immediately rejects the idea. It was for Jesse's ears only. Plus, she doesn't think the girls would be too thrilled without including some Miley Cyrus in the mix.

_"Won't you come see about me? I'll be alone, dancing, you know it baby."_

His attention is on her. Only on her. And hers is on his.

Her eyes are gleaming, a message relayed to his, saying, "I'm singing you something."

She's singing to him like he's the only one in the room.

_"Don't you forget about me. When you walk on by, will you call my name?"_

He nods. It's barely there, but it's a nod. Then comes the smile, and the fist in the air. She swears she's never been happier.

It feels really fucking good kissing him. Her arms are around his neck and his are around her waist and she doesn't care anymore. She's not mad anymore. She's not closed off and lonely anymore.

And it feels great.


	2. how're you feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca's still riding the high of victory, and along with the taste of alcohol on her tongue, she finds that the rush of adrenaline she gets when she spots him is maybe the second, (hey, the Bellas fucking won the ICCAs) best thing of the night.

 

**"how're you feeling?"**

Beca loses track of how many after-parties she goes to.

It's about 2 in the morning when she finally finds him. He's sitting on a leather couch in one of the hotel rooms. Benji is by his side, and Donald is beat-boxing while a small group of partiers throw out verses. Jesse's gulping down the last of his booze when he spots her. His adam's apple bobs and his cheeks dimple when he ( _finally)_  sees her.

She tries hard not to smile at the goofy grin he's wearing as he ambles on towards her.

"Hi."

"Hi."

She can tell that he's nervous by the way he was unable to talk. He kind of just stands there, unsure of what to do. Just standing there, goofy grin and all.

"Do you want to leave? We can leave. But we can stay, too." She offers a shy smile, nudging his arm with hers. He raises his eyebrow and turns to stare at the other Bellas.

"They won't even notice." She takes his hand and curls her fingers around the nooks of his hand. They slip out of the hotel room filled with a cappella nerds without detection and she guides him to the elevator.

The doors close behind them, leaving them alone as they ascend another twenty stories.

"Can you pass the sobriety test right now?"

He laughs out loud at that one and nods. She pushes on his chest and he rocks back and forth on his heels. "See? And I come right back."

He regains his balance and pulls her waist towards his, lowering his head so that he was on her level. His hand tilts her chin to connect their lips once again.

His lips are warm and soft against hers for the brief moment they're there. The elevator door opens, and Beca leads the way to her hotel room that she's sharing with Amy for the night. She's sure the Australian will be gone the entire night, and she's grateful for this.

She slides her hotel key and they enter the room, his arms gripped around her waist. The door is shut quietly behind them, and suddenly his mouth is back on hers and her skin feels feverish under his touch. He places little kisses on her neck and his fingers ghost underneath the cutout in her dress that she had changed into for the after-parties. She lets out a low moan when he sucks on her pulse point, her eyes fluttering while his hands continue to massage the skin on her waist. She rubs her hands over his biceps and sighs, her mind reeling.

They somehow find themselves at her bed, their mouths battling it out as he struggles to keep his hands off her. He eventually finds the zipper to her dress and he pulls her out of it, her clinging to him by his neck in her bra and underwear. His hands rub along her hips and he's wearing a dazed expression, mostly in awe, as she unbuttons his shirt, leaving him shirtless.

Their clothes come off piece by piece until finally they're left breathless underneath the covers. And as amazing and exhausting as their first time with each other had been, they remained restless. They lay there, eventually their panting loses its heaviness and she's left turning towards him.

"Jesse?"

"Mhm?" He's stroking the bare of her back, eyes trained on the blue orbs that belonged to hers. He's so calm and relaxed that she's almost jealous.

"How're you feeling?"

He doesn't pause to think. "I feel pretty fucking amazing, thanks to you."

She tries not to roll her eyes at his corniness, opting on pecking him on the lips instead. "Okay, but really. How're you feeling?"

He props himself on his elbows and thinks a little harder before coming up with a response. "I wasn't lying. I feel amazing. And shocked, but the good kind. I mean, you  _sang_  to me."

"Yeah, about that," she inches a little closer to him and takes a deep intake breath, forcing herself into making direct eye contact with him. "I'm sorry I was such an ass. It was hard, you know? I went through not caring about anyone to caring about everyone— The girls, you, hell, even my dad. I shut everyone out because that's all I knew what to do for so long. I didn't want to get hurt again."

He nods.

"I talked to my dad about everything and we didn't argue, it felt so good and different. And it felt good when I came back to the Bellas and we sorted things through. And it felt good while I was making the arrangements and putting in that song to let you know what I'm telling you now."

A soft smile tugs at his cheeks at this, his eyes bright, even with the lights dim. "Thank you."

They stay silent for awhile, their breathing seemingly in sync. "I'm sorry, too." He confesses.

She looks at him in confusion.

His eyes darkens and forehead creases with lines of guilt. "For pushing you."

"No, I needed it. I think it was good for me. It wasn't particularly fun, but it was appreciated." She admits. "You slamming the door in my face was a reality check. I wouldn't be here right now... You wouldn't be here right now."

"So you're saying that if I hadn't rejected your first apology, the Trebles would have won the ICCAs?" The smug smirk he was wearing makes her roll her eyes.

"In your dreams." She snorts, lightly pushing him so that he was on his back again. His laughter subsides once her mouth finds its way to his again, and she finds herself moaning his name into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever wanna talk Jeca, you can find me at becasjesse on Tumblr. Tell me what your thoughts are on this chapter?


	3. "are you alright?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca decides that grizzly bears are her _least_ favorite animal.

**"are you alright?"**

Summers in Georgia suck.

In an effort to nurse her relationship with her father back to the way it was before the big divorce, Beca stays in Georgia for a majority of the summer. She takes a job at a nearby music store on the beach. Dealing with clueless tourists was not exactly her idea of "summer fun".

She spends all of June and half of July in Oregon at her mom's. She finds herself hanging out with Jesse every weekend, as it's around a three hour drive to his place in Washington. Her time spent was worth it every time.

It's not like she had anything interesting to do in Portland, except the time he decided to drive over and they got donuts together and hiked through some of her hometown's green scenery. They watched movies in her room until it was five in the morning and showered together while her mother was dangerously just a room away.

The first thing her mother asked him when they met was, "So are you the guy who made out with my daughter on national television?"

He blushed at that. Beca wanted to punch her mom in the face, but it never happened.

Jesse showed her his hometown of Steptoe, where we was born and raised until he was about ten. There was nothing much there- a gas station, dirt roads, and grassy hills. He moved to a suburb in Seattle and he made new friends and got a new guitar and found his niche in the music department of his old high school.

He introduced her to his parents. At that point, they had only been together for two months. She almost bolted, but Jesse, always prepared, soothed her down with his voice of reason and a little melody.

They end up loving her somehow, which is a shocker knowing that her ear spike and heavy eyeliner usually scared people away. But these are Jesse's parents, who have done a fantastic job raising their four kids, and Beca knows that maybe it's not a surprise when they end up accepting her the moment they saw her on national television, kissing their son and beaming at the way he was finally smiling again.

They played tourist together in Seattle. They visited the Space Needle and Pike's Place Market and the zoo. There, he witnesses Beca's more playful side. He couldn't help but laugh at Beca nearly peeing her pants when she spotted the red pandas. He snapped a picture of her holding one and every time he looks at it, he sees and remembers the excitement in her eyes and her carefree nature, and he can't help but smile.

His parents always ended her visits asking when she'd be back. On her last, they took her and Jesse out for ice cream sundaes and wouldn't stop thanking her for being with their son and how he was lucky to have her. Jesse agreed wholeheartedly.

Jesse promises Beca to call every day, a countdown of some sort until the school started back up again. She thinks it's excessive, but he insists. They end up Skyping, or texting, or, in Beca's case, sending samples of the new mixes she was working on, every single day.

She flies to Miami two weeks before school starts to visit Chloe, where the redhead forces her to get her "tan on" at the beach. She ends up just lathering SPF 30 over her skin and getting sunburnt anyways.

"So... How are you and Jesse?" Chloe asks that day, lathering aloe vera over Beca's mild sunburn in her back.

"We're good."

"Is he  _good_?" This question comes with a wink and replied with a roll of the eyes.

"I'm not gonna tell you if he's good in bed, Chlo."

Beca recoils when Chloe presses her thumbs too deeply into her back. Chloe sees this and apologizes, but continues bugging her.

"Are you saying that he's bad? Aw, sweetie, it happens to the best of—"

"No! No, I'm not saying—" Beca huffs, pausing to take a minute to organize her thoughts. "I'm not saying  _anything_  about our sex life."

Chloe gives her a sympathetic look. "Are you not getting anything out of him? I mean, you'd think after all those months pining over you the tension would finally—"

"Enough! He's great, we're great, that's it. That's all you're getting."

The amused look on Chloe's face fails to transfer onto Beca's. The brunette grumbles under her breath.

The older Bella wipes her hands on a cloth and sits down across her. "Okay, but really. How's the relationship going?"

Beca shrugs. "Like I said, he's great. He's  _Jesse._ The only thing different about him is that I occasionally let him kiss me whenever he wants."

* * *

While she's waiting for Chloe to get back with their takeout, Beca walks around her friend's apartment, looking at her phone in wonder.

_"What do you think? Should I bring the red or the blue?" He holds up his two prized plaid shirts for her to see through their Skype session._

_Jesse's about to embark on a three day, two night camping trip with some of his friends from high school. He'll be unleashing his inner outdoorsman by fishing in a lake and getting bitten by bugs, which is, apparently, an exciting thing (in his mind, at least)._

_Beca rolls her eyes. "Why does it matter? It's gonna be all dirty and stinky by the time you come back, no matter which you choose."_

_"Aw, come on, Bec! It's all about the character." Jesse muses, winking at her through the screen. "If you had to choose."_

_"The red. But only because I like your blue one and don't want it to get all ruined, so that way when some grizzly bear comes to eat you, the shirt will be perfectly safe at home."_

_"I'm offended. I can totally take on a grizzly."_

_"I never said that you couldn't, you weirdo," she gives him a smug smirk, "but if I had to choose the winner in that fight, I'd bet on the bear."_

_He feigns hurt and touches a hand to his chest. "Ouch. That one hurt."_

_She pokes her tongue out at him playfully. "What time will you be back again?"_

_"I should be home by Monday morning. I promise to tell you all about it the second I get back, okay? I promise."_

_"Okay, I'll make sure to clear my schedule," she jokes. "Don't let me down, Swanson."_

_"I won't."_

So now she's staring at her phone, wondering why he hasn't yet sent her a single thing that morning. She's grown kind of used to seeing his morning snapchats of him brushing his teeth and gargling out an annoying morning jingle.

She'll never admit out loud that she actually misses it.

It's just that, you know, he  _promised_.

Instead, she texts him a "good morning, nerd" and stares at her screen a few seconds before setting it face down.

* * *

The two girls go out on a hike for a good few hours. By the time they make it back for lunch, they're both sweaty and Beca's sunburn aches even worse than before. They get to a Mexican grill and, after hours of no cellular service, she checks her phone to see if he had replied.

He didn't.

For the next couple of hours, Beca tells herself that he's just busy.

* * *

Maybe he really did get eaten by a bear.

She leaves him a voicemail instead of a snapchat because she doesn't want him to see her worrying.

She tries to convince herself that she really  _isn't_  that worried.

But maybe, just maybe, she jinxed him and now he's lying on the forest ground with blood staining his red plaid flannel.

"Jesse? You're probably really busy or something, that's fine. Just... Call me when you get back, yeah? Okay, bye."

* * *

Chloe starts to notice when they're out for dinner.

Beca doesn't notice the redhead staring at her intently until she looks up from her plate. Chloe's eyes are locked on the figure before her, her baby blues filled with concern. "Okay, what's going on?"

"What?"

"You've hardly touched your food."

"I don't think eating with your hands is exactly appropriate when you have a bowl of noodles." She lets out a short laugh in an attempt to keep her friend satisfied.

By the look on her face, Chloe is not impressed. "You know what I meant. Something's on your mind."

Beca doesn't really know what's happened to her. Normally she'd act out, pretend nothing was happening. She'd hide.

But this time, she's not up to fighting it out with Chloe. The ginger knew how to pester her, plus, she's her best friend. She figures it won't hurt.

"It's just that," she loops a noodle around her chopstick mindlessly, trying to keep her cool. "He promised."

"Promised what?"

"That he'd call when he got back from camping."

"When was he supposed to be back?"

"This morning."

"Maybe he decided to stay an extra day. Don't worry about it too much, Beca. He's fine." Chloe tries, hoping to calm her nerves. "Give him until tomorrow morning. If he doesn't call, you're allowed to freak out all you want."

She closes her eyes to prevent her brain into going into overdrive. She shakes her head to clear any thoughts of worst case scenarios, starting with the most ridiculous. "Okay. I think I can do that."

* * *

She wakes up at eight in the morning, still with no text from Jesse. Beca's officially allowed to freak out.

"Jesse? Are you alright? Please tell me you're alright, I need to know. I swear, if you're playing some sort of sick joke... Never mind, just hurry up and call me before I convince myself that a bear really did eat you and that the only thing I'm allowed to keep of yours is that blue plaid shirt. Okay? I need to know this kind of shit... God, just let me know if you're alright. Fucking asshole. Bye."

With that, she hangs up, huffing and red in the face from talking so fast.

Chloe takes her out shopping to help distract her, but absolutely nothing can stop her mind from going a mile a minute.

Beca's not the clingy type.

It's not that she really expects him to text her, or Skype her, or snap her at every moment of the day. But in a way, she does. Not in the controlling, psychotic way that Aubrey expects. It's just that it's  _Jesse_ , and he's  _that_  kind of predictable that she finds herself looking forward to seeing his goofy texts and stupid face every day.

She misses him.

And the fact that she hasn't heard a thing from him is worrisome.

So, she tries one more time.

"You've reached Jesse, leave a message after the b-e-e-e-p!" His vibrato rings through her ears, yet again disappointing her.

"Hey, it's me again. Um, yeah. Call me back."

* * *

Beca likes to sleep on flights, no matter the duration. She can't stand the turbulence and people on planes, in general. She likes to pop in her ear buds and let music drown out the old guy's insistent chatter in the row behind her.

But this time, she can't fall asleep. Her cabin was asleep, but she wasn't. As much as she hated it, she couldn't stop thinking about a certain stupid boy.

Beca Mitchell is a god damn real life clingy-girlfriend trope.

* * *

Her dad is supposed to pick her up from the airport. It's two in the morning and she really doesn't feel like dealing with her tardy father at the moment.

She sighs and plops down onto her suitcase, dialing her dad to tell him to hurry up.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"I should be there in a bit—"

A beep interrupts her call, prompting Beca to check the screen to see what the hell it was signaling. A green light flashes, indicating an incoming call.

"Okay, great. Um, can you hold on for a sec?"

"Of course."

Beca hastily accepts the call, hoping it wasn't too late.

"Jesse?"

"Hiya. You told me to call you back?"

If Beca could, she would punch him square in the face. Her neck reddens with simultaneous annoyance and relief.

"Beca? Are you alright?"

"Not really."

"Why is that?"

Beca fights the urge to yell at him right then and there. She's about to respond when an obnoxious beep sounds behind her. She jumps, turning around to glare at the driver, who was already parked in front of Beca's drop-off.

"What the f—" She squints at the figure, her brain rattling.

She's 99% sure that the asshole walking towards her is the very same asshole who's her boyfriend.

"You look pissed to see me." He remarks, chuckling to himself when he reaches her.

Beca's speechless. She doesn't know whether to cry, laugh, or punch him. All she knows is that her boyfriend hasn't been eaten by a bear and that he is right in front of her, wearing his stupid blue flannel.

"Why do you have my dad's car?"

"He let me use it."

"Why?"

"Never mind that. Can we kiss now?"

"Eh."

"Eh?"

"You're kind of pissing me off right now."

He raises his eyebrows and takes her luggage into the car without a word. She just stands there, still confused.

"Well, are you coming or not? I have a time limit, here. And I kind of don't want to get on your dad's bad side by scoring a ticket with his car."

She begrudgingly gets into the passenger seat.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're so pissed at me?" He asks, glancing at the ticking time bomb herself.

"Why are you even here? You weren't supposed to be back in Georgia until next week. And you literally disappeared off the face of the planet for three days straight—"

"I was camp—"

"And come Monday morning, there's no fucking indication from you that you're still alive! Nothing! And now you've decided to turn up out of the blue, after not hearing from you for six days, like it's no big deal?!"

He frowns. "I was just trying to surprise you."

"I hate surprises. I hate them." She snaps, hoping that it was the last of her rage. She finds herself fighting a few stray tears from rolling down her cheeks, ultimately failing as the hot liquid falls from her eyes.

This is so stupid. He's so stupid.  _She's_  so stupid. Why was she even crying? Because her boyfriend was safe and sound? That's stupid.

He immediately notices and pulls over on the side of the road, unbuckling his seatbelt to lean in closer. His eyes are full of concern as he brushes her tears away with the pads of his thumb, hands cupping her face. "Beca, Beca," He breathes, brushing his lips onto her forehead. "I'm so sorry, babe. No more surprises."

"It's not that," she sighs and takes his hand into hers, rubbing it appreciatively. "I was scared. But now you're right here, in Atlanta, in my dad's car? I wasn't sure if you were alright. I wanted to know you were okay and you promised to tell me."

"Well, a spider bit me and I swear I was a goner," He jokes. "For all I know, it could've been a radioactive spider. Your boyfriend could've been the next Spiderman."

She gives him a look. "Jesse."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

"I just missed you, okay?" She sniffles, wiping the last of her tears away with the back of her hand. "Ugh, I sound like a total sap."

"No, you don't. This is good," he sees the confused look on her face and smiles gently, "you know, the feelings thing."

"Gross," she mumbles quietly.

He laughs at that. "I missed you, too, Beca."

"Can you just promise me something?"

"Anything for you, my darling."

She wrinkles her nose. "Dude, no. Don't call me that," she finally cracks a smile, taking in the way his brown eyes danced with happiness. "I don't know how you were raised, but I was definitely taught the virtue of keeping promises. And that secrets suck."

He raises his eyebrows. "Okay. Promises are promises, then. And, yes, secrets do suck."

"Good, because if you ever pull that shit again, I'm burning your collector's edition of  _Titanic_ , which, for the record, I'm still embarrassed you actually own."

His eyeballs just about bulge from his head, making her laugh. "That's one hell of a threat, Mitchell," he draws out a slow whistle, marveling at her unabashed stature. "I better tell you this now, then."

It was her turn to raise a quizzical brow. "What is it now?"

"Your dad let us borrow the car for the next few days for a reason. We're going to Orlando." He grins excitedly.

Beca can't even be pissed at him because he looks so damn ecstatic. "And why is that?"

"I didn't make you watch all eight of the  _Harry Potter_  films for nothing."

"Oh, God. Jesse you didn't—"

"We're getting Butterbeer and taking the Hogwarts Express, baby!"

"This is why I hate surprises."

He laughs and kisses her on the cheek before they drive off again, telling her all of his summer and camping adventures and him of the mild sunburn on her back.


	4. "anything else I can do to make you feel better?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca tries to make the "king of a cappella" feel like royalty again.

**"anything else I can do to make you feel better?"**

Unsurprisingly, the Bellas win Regionals, with the Treblemakers close behind in the rankings. This time around, Beca's not punching some grown man's face, and Jesse isn't calling her dad to come pick her up from the police station.

Instead, the two groups are celebrating at a pizzeria near campus. The newest Bella, Flo, has been talking about Argentinean folk tales for the majority of the meal, with all of the new Trebles and old Bellas listening in on the foreign exchange student's storytelling. Jesse's drumming his fingers on his girlfriend's leg nonchalantly, absorbed in Flo's version of Carau.

"Do you guys realize what's going on right now?" Chloe suddenly says, catching the group's attention rather quickly. "This is history in the making. Last year, I would've laughed if someone told me that the Bellas and Trebles were going to be intentionally sharing a table at Nick's Pizzeria."

And it's true. The two groups are civil with each other for the first time in Barden history.

"If it weren't for Jesse and Beca's little thing, we wouldn't be here," Fat Amy notes, waggling her eyebrows suggestively at the couple.

"C'mon guys, you can't give us all the credit," he grins, nudging Beca in the process.

"But can we give you credit for us losing tonight?" A new Treble, Blake, suggests at the end of the table with a challenging look on his face.

Jesse frowns. "I'm not a one-man band."

"You  _did_  pick out the songs."

"Yeah, but—"

"Nerds, listen up," Beca glares at the bumbling group of boys, commanding their attention immediately. "Jesse picked out amazing arrangements, and you guys did great. It's not yours, or  _Jesse's_ , fault that the Bellas are superior."

The girls nod in agreement while the boys glower at the tiny brunette. Their food comes, effectively shutting the table up.

Beca notices the change in Jesse's behavior. He's been silent all through the rest of dinner, and he's hardly responded to anyone. He's in his own little world, which was unusual to her more than anyone.

"Wanna walk back to campus?" She suggests at the end of the meal, just as group was getting on the bus. He hesitates, but agrees and flings the keys to the Treblemakers' bus to Benji.

They wait until the two buses drive away before they start heading back. Her hand slips through his as they make their way to campus.

"What's going on?" She asks, looking at him intensely.

He blinks down at her, taken aback by her question. "What if the guys are right?"

"They're not, you picked amazing songs—"

"Not that," he sighs, "I mean, what if I'm not fit to be the leader? Taking Bumper's place last year was so easy, but that was with a set of completely different boys. We all established a knighthood of some sort."

She sees that he's insecure and uncertain. It's a new side of him that she's never seen, and all she wants to do is make those feelings go away.

"Well, now you just have to bond with the new members. I lucked out with keeping all of the Bellas, minus Aubrey. You just need to re-establish your throne, king of a cappella." She muses. Her heart flutters when he finally shows her the dimples that she was hoping to see.

"King of a cappella?"

She grins. "Don't let your ego get the best of you, nerd."

He gives her a kiss on the cheek and wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her in closer as they finally reach campus. "I'll try not to."

"But really, no one can beat the Bellas. But, I think you're doing a great job with the Trebles. You have nothing to worry about. Except the Bellas."

"You're so competitive."

She shrugs. "I hope you believe me when I say that you're an amazing leader."

He sighs. "You're just saying that because you're trying to be a supportive girlfriend."

"Jesse."

They stop in the middle of the sidewalk. She's glaring at him with those intense cobalt eyes. He can't quite look her in the eye with her crossed arms and the scary, determined look on her face.

"Can you just listen to me? Stop worrying. You need to know that you're doing the best job possible whipping those new guys into shape, especially since it's only been a few months. You're terrific, and amazing, and talented. Seeing you so down about this... It's disheartening, you know?  _You got this_." The fierceness in her voice seems to get a hold on him, because now he's actually looking at her.

She's not sure of what to make of an insecure Jesse. Normally an exuberant, actual puppy, upbeat and positive guy, seeing him so beat up about this really does upset her.

"Believe me." She says gently, unfolding her arms to wrap them around his waist. They kiss briefly, with her on her toes and his hand cupping her cheek.

"Thank you," he murmurs against her lips, feeling the small smile form on them.

"You're welcome," she pulls away, sliding a hand into his back pocket they continue their walk, now only a few yards away from the Bellas House. "Anything else I can do to make you feel better? Your ego must be pretty bruised, there," she jokes.

"Nah, it remains very much in-tact, but I'll take you up on that offer. How about a movie?"

"We can do that," she chews the bottom of her lip, "or we can do something better."

"What's better than movies?" He's genuinely dumbfounded, which makes her want to laugh and also slap him.

He's  _such_  a nerd.

"The girls went out to some frat party for the night, so the house is empty..."

"Great! So Amy's not gonna harass me over the whole house smelling like popcorn, again? Right on!" He makes a show of pumping his fist into the air, a victorious grin plastered on his face.

She groans. "Sex, Jesse. I'm talking about sex."

"Oh.  _Oh_." With a devilish grin, he picks her up, bridal style, and sprints to the empty house, loving the way she was laughing breathlessly against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get the balloons and party hats ready, because it's someone's birthday in the next chap :) As always, let me know what you thought of this chapter, either on here or on my Tumblr, becasjesse.


	5. i'll stay up as long as long as i can, okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca's tries her hand at the whole "birthday with the significant other" thing.

**"i'll stay up with you as long as I can, okay?"**

January 21st.

Jesse's birthday.

It was weird, really, how just a year ago, all she did was leave him a message exactly at midnight. He sent her a text expressing his thanks and a picture of the movie he was watching that day, and that was that.

This year is different. They've been together for a little over eight months, and Beca wasn't into the cheesy anniversary shit, so she had no idea what to do for him. She figures she'll spend the entire day with him, but what they'll be doing is something she doesn't exactly know.

It's not like she hasn't tried asking him point blank, because she  _does_. His response, "Surprise me!", doesn't exactly help with her dilemma.

She even asks the girls, but their suggestions aren't all that helpful, either.

"The whole popping out of a birthday cake is totally what you should do. It's the pinnacle of all guys' fantasies," Stacie smirks. "I can help you pick out something super slutty to wear, I have a discount at—"

"That's okay, Stace. Thanks, though."

"I think you should do something sweet, like dinner and a movie. He's the romantic type, right?" Jessica chimes sweetly, with the other girls murmuring their agreement.

"I fall asleep when we watch movies at least ninety-percent of the time, so that might be a problem."

Ashley raises her voice from the back of the bleachers. "Reenact his favorite film?"

Beca sighs heavily. "Been there, done that."

The Bellas give her a questionable look and she sighs yet again, raising her fist just like she did at Lincoln Center. It clicks with them and they all let out a chorus of "aww"'s, which only makes Beca roll her eyes.

"I mean, I know the party's on Saturday, but since his actual birthday is on Wednesday, I'm thinking karaoke? Karaoke with the a ca groupies wouldn't be bad." Chloe pipes, a confident glint in her eyes.

"I'm a woman on a budget, sorry Chlo," Beca shrugs. "Besides, he has an exam on Friday and I think he'd rather cram on Thursday."

Lilly whispers something about a Bonnie and Clyde shooting spree.

Fat Amy tries convincing Beca to fill a piñata with enough sex toys and condoms to "put a dingo in heat for years", while Flo gives Fat Amy a terrified shake of the head.

Cynthia Rose offers some of her poker winnings for her and Jesse to take a day trip somewhere.

Stacie's scrolling through a lingerie catalog and points out some of her favorites to the girls and Beca.

It's not that she doesn't appreciate their suggestions, because she does (for the most part). They're just not quite what she's looking for.

But when she approaches Benji for some help, the close-up magician turns beet red, and she knows she won't get anything out of him.

"Do you need some privacy? I can get all the guys to leave the house and we can go to a water park or something or maybe we can play laser tag and—"

"Benji, dude relax. You don't need to do that. I'm just getting a little desperate here trying to come up with an idea to 'woo' him."

"Oh," he chuckles, "um, I have a Princess Leia costume and—"

"As much as I love you, Benji, I don't know if I'm up for that idea. Have anything else up your sleeve?"

Suddenly, he pulls out a hamster from his  _actual_  sleeve and offers it to her with a proud grin. She wants to bury her face in her hands in disappointment, but she really can't bear to crush his spirit, so instead she just pets the hamster in silence.

He must've sensed this by the way his face softens apologetically. "Jesse likes romantic gestures."

"I know—"

"Just let me finish. He likes them, but he loves you more. I think that whatever you come up with... It'll be enough to 'woo' him," he smiles warmly at his Bella friend, "you don't have to try very hard. He'll love anything you do."

* * *

When the big day finally arrives, she's awakened by the gentle strokes of his thumb on her cheek. She opens her eyes to see him gazing at her sleepily, a soft smile playing on his lips as he wraps the duvet tighter around their bodies. Normally, she'd grumble about him waking her up and probably flip him off, but it was his big day, after all.

Plus, there was something in the way he looks at her that makes her chest swell impossibly larger.

"Good morning, old man," she hums into his skin, taking in the way he smelled faintly of his laundry detergent. "Happy birthday."

"I'm only ten months older than you, you can't demote me to senior citizen already," he muses, voice still a bit groggy, as he wraps his arms around her petite frame. He presses his lips to hers and pulls away moments later, pausing to brush a piece of hair from her forehead. "But thank you, Bec."

She smiles. "Would you like to know the agenda for today?"

He nods eagerly.

She responds with another kiss, this one more heated than the first, gliding over him in one swift motion. Her lips travel to his neck, gently sucking where his pulse was beating rhythmically. He sighs, content, as he slips his hands underneath the thin material of her shirt and rubs them along the soft skin on her side. His hands cup her breasts, massaging them softly, when suddenly her lips unlatch themselves from his skin to reveal an angry red mark. He stops his movements to stare at her questioningly.

She smirks and removes his hands from her shirt, then pats the red mark proudly. "Too bad. You've got class in ten minutes."

He groans. "Would the professor be pissed if I blew off his class to have birthday sex with my girlfriend?

"Well, since the professor happens to be my dad, he probably would be pretty pissed. Furious, even." She smirks and crawls out of bed to throw on some clothes, tossing Jesse his Treble hoodie as well.

He sighs in resignation, touching the hickey on his neck. "You are one evil little lady."

"Consider it a birthday present."

* * *

True to his word, Benji and the rest of the Trebles were out of the house by the time Beca comes back from class and Bellas practice. Jesse's still at his shift at the radio station, giving her plenty of time to go through his movie collection.

She goes through his shelves twice.

_Twice._

It's not there.

So she panics a little and checks his DVD player and under his bed and in the pile of video games in the Trebles' living room.

She finds it eventually, hidden away from the rows of movies and from the prying hands of a cappella roommates. It's in a shoebox in his closet, marked with "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" in silver sharpie. Inside the box are basic necessities— first-aid kit, pack of matches, a flashlight, batteries, a space blanket, a change of clothes, peanut butter, water, and a handful of hotel shampoos and soaps.

Sitting at the top of the heap was  _The Breakfast Club._

She shakes her head and smiles to herself.

Of course he would.

She takes the DVD and sets it on his bed for later, then checks the time.

Jesse's shift ends in half an hour, leaving Beca just enough time to get dinner ready for the two of them.

* * *

Well, that's what she  _thought_.

"Chloe, it's— OW!"

"Beca, it's just oil," Chloe sighs through their Facetime screen.

Beca dodges as the oil pops from the pan, her heart racing to avoid the spray. "But it's hot— GOD DAMN IT!"

Suddenly, Jesse appears from the door, startling Beca in nearly dropping her tongs. "Bec? Are you okay? Wait, are you  _cooking_?"

"Cover your eyes and go back outside! I'm not finished," she responds through clenched teeth, focusing all her energy on the battle between her and the bacon. "It's a  _surprise_ —MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Not a very good one. I know what bacon smells like." Beca turns to threaten him with her tongs, but his eyes are covered with a hand, so she lets it go.

"Happy birthday Jesse!" Chloe chirps gleefully from the phone.

"Thanks, Chloe. I'd show my face but I'm afraid Beca's gonna do something bad to it if I do."

"That's okay, I'm here to save your ass. You're safe with me."

Jesse throws a thumbs up to where Chloe's voice was coming from and disappears into the hallway, eyes still covered as he crashes into the wall several times. Beca just snorts, amused, and finishes cooking the bacon. She sets their dinner up and thanks Chloe for guiding her through the recipes, then goes to fetch Jesse from his room.

"Dinner's ready," she pokes her head into the doorway,

"I still can't believe you cooked." He chuckles, walking towards her to press a kiss on her cheek. She grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen, where she set up a waffle bar and an array of breakfast foods on the table.

"Without burning the house down? Me either.  _Bon appétit."_

His eyes widen as he takes in the sight in front of him. "You remembered."

"That breakfast for dinner is your favorite meal? Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugs and grabs a waffle, loading a generous amount of fruits on it before drizzling it with chocolate syrup. "I told you that ages ago, before we were together."

"Well, you kept complaining that the breakfast food in the dining hall tasted like trash, so..."

"Thank you, Beca. You're the best girlfriend ever." She rolls her eyes at the corny smile he gave her, his mouth smothered in chocolate sauce.

* * *

They end up in his room, laptop set on a pillow on their laps, along with a slice of cake that Benji and the rest of the guys had bought. She had just finished showing him the Bellas rendition of "Happy Birthday" to him, a mash-up of the traditional birthday song, Jeremih's "Birthday Sex", Rihanna's "Birthday Cake", and Katy Perry's "Birthday."

"We're performing this at your party," she winks, "with choreography, although Stacie and Chloe came up with it, so expect the worst."

He gives her one of his half-smirks, one that drips with a sort of smugness that reached his eyes. "Looking forward to it."

She smacks his chest with the back of her hand and lets out a short chortle. "I'm sorry you had to work today, I would've taken your shift if there wasn't Bellas practice," she says, nudging his fork with hers as they fight for another chunk of the chocolate cake. He finishes off the last piece and sets the plate aside, reaching for  _The Breakfast Club_  in exchange. A bow was tied neatly around it, keeping the slight bulge of the case from flying open entirely.

Jesse shakes his head. "It's fine, Luke didn't bother me or anything, so that was nice," he pauses just before opening the case and turns to her. "How'd you find my DVD?"

"It wasn't on your shelves, I checked twice. So I dug around, found it in your emergency kit. Hope you don't mind," she shrugs.

He unties the ribbon and out pops the flash drive with the mix she had planned to give him as an apology. He looks at her, puzzled.

"I made you a mash-up. It's pretty old— all the way from when you were mad at me. I was hoping it'd be enough to get you to forgive me, but thankfully I thought of a better idea to win you over," she chews her bottom lip, suddenly feeling nervous about her birthday present to him. "I added a few more songs to make a complete mix, but it's the mash-up that's important, I guess."

"Do you want me to listen to this now?" He asks, taking her hand in his to comfort her.

She shakes her head. "Listen to it when you're up to it. There's no rush."

He nods slowly, soaking in her words. "Okay."

 _Ah, fuck. He hates it_ , she thinks to herself. She finds herself wanting to run, but she knows she can't. She breathes deeply, hoping the drowning feeling in her lungs would stop.  _Dammit, she should've just gotten him that popcorn machine instead. Or maybe those dorky briefs with the Marvel characters. At least he would've laughed at that._

He must've sensed her uncertainty, because suddenly his laptop is pushed aside and he's pulling her into his arms. She calms a little when he presses a kiss to her temple.

"Even though I don't know what's in it, just know that I already love it," he assures her, this time pressing a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Wanna know how I know that?"

She nods and he shifts to face her, folding her legs criss-cross atop his lap, sinking into the cottony material of his covers. "It's because you're Beca Mitchell, the girl who serenaded me in front of thousands of people  _and_  won a trophy for it. You put your heart and soul into your passion, and I trust that this here," he holds up the flash drive, "is a reflection of that. Hell, you could've mashed the Barney theme song with some Taylor Swift and I would've loved it regardless."

She laughs at that, ruffling his hair affectionately. "You're such a dork."

He takes that as a compliment and smiles confidently, pecking her lips.

"Alright, enough about me. It's your birthday after all," Beca wraps her arms around his neck firmly, untangling her legs to wrap them around his waist, bringing them impossibly closer as she kisses him hard. "And I have one last thing to give you."

His hands follow the arch in her back, fumbling with the thin material of her shirt. Their noses glide past each other, eyes closed, as their lips meet again. He leans back into the pillows, sighing when the hardening buds of her nipples brush against his chest. His tongue enters her mouth, groaning when she grinds into his hips and hands grip the hair on the back of his head.

His eyes widen and he lets out a subsequent moan when she lifts her shirt above her head and onto the floor, acquainting him with the pleasure of looking at the lacy bra (barely) concealing her breasts.

Fine, so maybe she  _did_  take a look at that lingerie catalog.

And maybe she  _did_  use the coupon that Stacie not-so discreetly slipped into her hand two weeks ago.

* * *

They lounge in bed for awhile afterwards, watching  _The Breakfast Club_  and eating cold waffles drenched in chocolate syrup at midnight like it was the most casual thing, because, well, it was.

And when he asks her if she's tired, she nods, giving him a sleepy smile that made her eyes crinkle. "But I'll stay up as long with you as I can, okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think Jesse enjoyed his birthday? ;)


	6. please eat something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca's not sure if she likes sick!Jesse, but she sure as hell isn't going to watch him turn from green to purple in three seconds flat and be _okay_ with it.

**"please eat something"**

Every time Jesse looked like he was about to vomit his ass onto his take-home exam, her feet itched to make a beeline to the door.

The emetophobiac in her felt like screaming bloody murder and fleeing the country.

(When she was in the first grade, some girl vomited her strawberry milkshake all over her show-and-tell choice item, her prized stuffed animal bunny, which forever smells of the horrid memory. And don't get her started with the whole Aubrey projectile vomit thing. The pitch pipe covered in who-knows-what from the depths of the former Bella leader's insides was forever tainted.)

(She had issues to work through, okay?)

She can tell it's coming when his eyes are closed and nostrils flare, almost like a sneeze, but instead he's holding his breath and the grip on his pencil makes his knuckles turn white. She'd toss the empty trash bin to him, bracing herself for the worst, only for him to gag and continue abiding to the feeling of general grossness swimming around in his stomach.

"Not to boost your ego or anything, but you look really fucking awful."

He lets out a hoarse laugh, but soon enough, his face pales once again, begging for the bin. She hands it to him, cringing when he gags several more times.

"Dude, we need to get you to the doctor."

"It's probably just food poisoning," he assures her with a thumbs up.

She gives him a once over, eyes slitted skeptically.

"That's bullshit, if it was food poisoning you'd, you know,  _actually_  be vomiting," she points out, "and we've eaten the same food in the past twenty-four hours, I'd be almost-vomiting if that was the case."

Jesse shakes his head profusely, breathing deeply as he attempts to focus on the questions before him and  _not_  the wave of nausea rippling through his stomach. "I'll be fine by tomorrow, don't worry."

* * *

When tomorrow comes around, he's sweating like mad and has a fever of 100º, and he's complaining about how awful the pain in his stomach was.

Not that it fazes him or anything.

The worst thing about their relationship is that they're both ridiculously stubborn. They were both adamant in their own ways— Jesse's more inclined to hold out a grudge or push her buttons, while Beca's more into not dealing with whatever problem it was, at all. They butt heads when they're at the movies ("I want to watch the one with the zombies." "No, Bec. It looks like shit.  _This_  film is nominated for Best Sound Mixing, so we have to watch it." "It looks boring as fuck, though." "Beca..." "Okay. Fine. Whatever." "..."), when they can't decide on what pizza crust to get ("Don't make that face." "What face?" "You know what face." "I'm just saying, thin crust would've tasted so much better... Wait, Beca, don't make me eat this whole pizza by myself! Beca? Come back!" "Whatever. I'm eating at Chloe's."), and it gets particularly shaky when they play Mario Kart ("Quit sulking over the fact that I won." "Because you fucking cheated, asshole." "Don't be a bad sport." "Fuck you? I have a job to get to. Bye." "What are you talking about, you're not working today!").

So when Beca urges him to visit the doctor, he doesn't budge. "It'll pass."

"If you were someone with a vagina shedding the inner linings of their uterus right now, I would've wished you luck and handed you a Midol and a heating pad," she pauses to gauge his reaction, a mere shrug, before continuing. "But you aren't that person. And even if you were, I'd take you to the doctor anyways because no one should ever have a fever this high."

"Geez, Beca. I'm positive I'll be good to go tomorrow."

"I'm offering, here. Take what you get or I'm out."

"I am  _fine_ ," he grits through clenched teeth, fighting off the pain surging through his abdomen. He takes her hand and gives it a squeeze from his spot on the bed, looking up at her with the most sincerity he could muster.

"Jesse, will you quit being a child and just agree to go to the god damn doctor's office?"

"For the last time, I don't think a doctor is necessary!"

She rolls her eyes and throws him a bottle of cold and flu medicinal syrup before stalking her way to Bellas practice.

* * *

As much as she wants to ignore him, she can't.

So, when she goes to check up on him, she's hoping that he's asleep. Being the heavy sleeper he is, it'd be much easier to check his temperature while he was unconscious.

Her heart slows when she doesn't find him in his bed, but it doesn't take long for it to start racing again when she finds him passed out on the bathroom floor.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckthisstupidfuckingidiotwhydidn'thelistenfuckfuckfuck_

In a panic, she yells for Benji, whose bedroom happened to connect to the bathroom. Together, they help Jesse on his feet and drag the now conscious man to the backseat of Beca's car, head on her lap and knees folded against the door. She allows Benji to drive them to the emergency room, since her mind was racing to all possible (mostly bad) conclusions.

"I feel fine," he grumbles, begrudgingly taking the thermometer into his mouth on Beca's command.

"I don't like Sick You just as much as  _you_  don't like Sick You, but I also don't like possibly Dead You. I don't appreciate you passing out wherever you please, either. You could've seriously hurt yourself, you idiot!" She snaps, grabbing the thermometer out his mouth with a shaky hand to read it. His forehead was burning under her touch, and the thermometer confirmed her suspicions of his fever spiking another two degrees or so.

He must've realized the panic on her face because the once-annoyed look on his face vanishes and is replaced by one of guilt. "Beca, please stop worrying about me. I'm fine, it's okay."

"But you  _aren't_."

"I grew up with three other siblings. It's happened before, and it passes through without doctor's aid. It's not a big deal. There are better things to worry about."

The mixture of concern, fear, and anger stirring in her stomach isn't enough to slap him into his senses. She's silent for the rest of the five-minute trip to the hospital and the wait in the emergency room while Benji and Jesse chat about the new  _Thor_  movie.

* * *

"Beca," Benji gently nudges her awake from his lap in the waiting room. She lifts her head and yawns, meeting the gaze of a man in a white lab coat with a stethoscope wrapped around his neck.

"Mr. Swanson is asking for his girlfriend. Is there a Beca Mitchell here?"

She blinks up at the doctor asking and nods. "That would be me."

The man gives her a pleasant smile and beckons her to follow him to Jesse's hospital bed.

"He's been having symptoms of viral meningitis, so we've run a series of tests to help determine the definitive diagnosis. Best case scenario is that it's just an unruly case of the flu, but we're performing a spinal tap to make sure," he explains.

She tries not to crinkle her nose in disgust at the thought of having a spinal tap. "Thanks, doc. When's this being done?"

"In a few minutes, and we should have the results within a few days. We'll keep him overnight to keep an eye out for any changes, but otherwise we'll just have to wait for the test results to come back. He'll be released in the morning with a doctor's note to his professors."

She nods, prompting the doctor to leave the two alone while he prepares for the spinal tap.

"No big deal, huh?"

"Aw, come on, Bec. I'm about to have a gigantic needle stabbed into my spine, and my head is  _pounding_. Now is not the time to rub you being right into my face," he groans.

She snorts. "For the record, I'm still pissed at you for being so fucking stubborn."

"Will you hold my hand when they jab the needle in me?"

"You can hold your own hand."

"Be- _ca_."

* * *

The doctor has her and Benji take preventative antibiotics as a cautionary measure, having been the only two to contact Jesse directly within the last 48 hours. Beca stays with him through the night, much to her chagrin of hospitals. Benji leaves around one in the morning, but promises to come back once Jesse's discharged.

The doctor orders bed rest, pain meds, and plenty of fluids for the next week or so while he recovers. She emails all of his professors about his absentee-status, all of which, to his relief, were understanding enough to let him slide for a week.

She's somehow taken the role of nurse, doctoring Jesse to health in the midst of all that was going on in her life. With Bellas practice for four days, classes for five, and radio station shifts for six, her week was already packed as is. Still, she finds the need to check up on him every hour.

She swings by their campus diner to picks up some food before heading to a (presumably— the Trebles do, in fact, still practice, despite their slim chances against the Bellas) empty Trebles house.

She announces her arrival with the sound of the keys (that he let her borrow. Apparently the rest of the boys, minus Benji, were opposed to having fellow Bella foe unlimited access to the plotting grounds) jiggling into the lock on the door.

He's asleep when she finds him, looking meek underneath the heap of blankets and throws. She takes the damp cloth from his forehead to re-soak it in cool water, quickly pressing a palm to check his temperature. When she comes back with a bowl of water with the cloth soaking in it, he's already awake.

"Hey, did I wake you up?" She gives him an apologetic smile. "How's meningitis treating you, nerd?"

He sits up, his plane pillow snug around his neck. "It's running its course and wreaking havoc on my immune system, but it's nothing I can't handle."

She sets their takeout on his bedside table, gauging the grimace on his face. "Please eat something. You can refuse and fake it all you want, but it doesn't mean that, psychologically speaking, you aren't hungry for some chicken noodle soup," she opens the container of soup for him. "For the soul," she adds, wryly.

"I'm full." He protests, gesturing to the pile of empty juice pouches in the trash bin next to his bed.

Tongue in cheek, she tries her best not to laugh.

"Doctor's orders." He gives her an innocent smile.

She finally lets out the stream of laughter that she's been holding in. "Yeah, by plenty of fluids, I think the doctor meant water or orange juice or something. You're such a weirdo."

"God, you're so perfect when you laugh. How'd I get so lucky to have you as my amazingly perfect girlfriend?"

She can't help the embarrassing blush from finding its way to her cheeks. It's weird how after two years, the words he said still made her feel like her insides could combust with butterflies and rainbows and candy hearts— all that cheesy shit that she didn't think she'd ever feel. Yet, here she was, now a month into her junior year of college, blushing like a love interest in a cliché romantic comedy.

"Seriously, Bec. You don't have to be here," She opens her mouth to protest, but he just continues on. "But you are, and I'm grateful for that. And I should've listened to you about seeing a doctor. It's just that growing up with three siblings, you kinda just brush that kind of stuff off, you know? You wait it out because you don't want your parents to deal with it, since they have other things to worry about. But I'm not with my parents or siblings anymore— Now I have you, and I'm so lucky for that. And if you're willing to help, then I need my stubborn head to accept that. Just... Thank you, Beca."

Her cheeks dimple when he presses a tender kiss to it, once again making her heart do the whole ' _thump-thump-thump'_ bit. "I'm only trying to keep you alive. I mean, who else is gonna shower me with compliments  _and_  movie fun facts?"

He grins. "Touché."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys don't mind me postponing this for a week or so, I'll be posting chapters to other fics as a filler. In the meanwhile, leave me a comment on what'd you like to see in the remaining chaps (or in a drabble or something, I'm up for anything!)


	7. "go to sleep, it's late, please."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca's just a _little_ stressed out.

**"go to sleep, it's late, please."**

Oh  _hell_  no.

Jesse did not just pull the blue shell on her.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" She screams, her thumbs quickly scrambling for some sort of recovery fix. She releases the onslaught of bananas in hope that the guys don't catch up to her, but it's too late— They bypass her, and she ends up in fourth place.

"I. AM. GONNA. KILL. YOU."

"It's just Mario Kart!"

" _Just_  Mario Kart?" Her nostrils flare and her eye twitches, effectively scaring the rest of the Trebles into silence. "Is this some sort of game to you?"

She sees Benji gulp nervously in the corner of her eye, while Justin starts to twitch nervously.

In a tiny voice, Jesse replies, "yes?"

"You know what, Swanson? If you hadn't—"

"Beca, maybe we should just play another game?" Benji suggests hopefully, but she shakes her head politely at the frightened Treble.

"Thanks, but I'm late for my appointment. Bye, nerds," she waves them off with a flick of the wrist and cooly exits the house.

Okay, so maybe she overreacted a  _tad_  bit. She was just stressed.

In theory, she should've been relaxing. The Bellas have just won their third ICCA championship, so all the stressing should've resolved into excitement and partying. But this year, they were set to partake in a victory tour across the East Coast (and California), and Beca hasn't even gotten halfway through their setlist,  _and_  they were performing for the President of the United States. And finals were in two weeks.

But the real treat was the fact that Beca was a week late.

So, here she is, peeing on a stick, with Fat Amy staring her down. There really weren't any barriers with them, considering that they roomed together in the Bella house. Privacy was practically nonexistent at this point.

Despite the fact that she might be carrying a fetus in her uterus, Beca keeps the conversation light when she sets the pregnancy test on the counter to set in. "So how are you and Bumper doing, Amy?"

"Well I'm not knocked up."

Beca glares at her. "Whatever."

Amy stays silent for a while, uncharacteristically so.

"Are you okay? You look a lot more nervous than I do."

"What's gonna happen if it.. You know."

"Dunno. We'll cross that bridge when it comes."

* * *

Jesse comes to her later that day bearing presents. He holds out a greasy bag of fries and a six-pack of booze.

"I'm here to say sorry for blue-shelling you."

Beca bites her cheek when she once-overs him. He's wearing the grubby Portland T-shirt she got him the summer she met his parents, now wrinkly and a little tattered up, a pair of dusty old jeans, and socks with sandals. He must've been really in a hurry to put up with this outfit without turning back.

(Not that she should be judging, considering that she was wearing [his] sweatpants that were way too long and kinda just dragged along the floor. At least they were comfortable.)

"I accept your apology."

He breathes a sigh of relief and hands her the bag, stepping inside the house warily.

"Are the girls here? I would've bought more booze, but—"

"Everyone else went to get dinner, I stayed behind to work on the setlist for this summer and to finish a few papers." She sinks into the couch, thanking Jesse for opening a beer for her as she scoops a handful of fries into her mouth.

"How's the setlist going, by the way?"

"You see, that's the problem. It's not really going anywhere."

"I'm sure you'll get it eventually. You have another two months to plan, give or take."

"This is the President of the United States, Jesse. On his birthday."

"I trust you'll come up with something spectacular," he reaches over to kiss her on the cheek.

Still, she's not so sure.

He pulls her onto his lap, stroking her hair nonchalantly as she nibbles on the fries. "I missed you."

She sighs when he starts sprinkling kisses onto the skin along her jawline. "I missed you, too."

It seems ridiculous to say they missed each other when they saw each other every other day or two. It's been a long time since they've been together, just the two of them— The past couple of weeks have been swamped with a cappella practices, finals prep, and alternating work schedules. Whenever either would pop in, the girls or guys were always there with them. It was nice being in each other's arms again.

"For the record, I'm still pissed you blue-shelled me earlier," she chuckles and takes a swig of her booze.

"I still got fifth place."

"Serves you right."

He rolls his eyes, popping open a can of beer. "So, how was your day?"

"It was okay. I took a pregnancy test

His hand stills in her hair. "What?"

"It was negative, but I thought I'd tell you."

He stays silent.

"Every college student's hit with a pregnancy scare, am I right?" She tries, hoping it's enough to ease him up.

It doesn't.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She slides off of his lap. "I didn't want you to unnecessarily worry about something that might've not been worth worrying about in the end. I was trying to help you," she frowns.

"Beca, you said it yourself, 'no surprises.'"

"And there isn't one?"

"And if the test was positive?"

"Well it wasn't, Jesse. Let's forget it ever happened, okay?" She sighs, frustrated.

He stares at her for a long while, his eyes unreadable for once. She ignores him, instead reaching for the remote and handing it to him.

"Go on, educate me with another one of your movies."

Beca's convinced that the amazing, albeit rough, back rub that he gave her over the course of  _Edward Scissorhands_ , coupled with his unusual quietness, was in direct correlation to the pregnancy test revelation. His eyes are at the television, but his mind was definitely elsewhere.

He leaves without carrying her sleeping body from the couch to her bed and without a goodbye kiss.

* * *

He avoids her for a week.

At first, she figures it's because it's finals season. Whenever she came to visit, he was knocked out on his desk or was greeted by Benji telling her that he left to the library to study. She doesn't bother looking, because she knows Jesse and when his study mode was on, there was no stopping him.

But then again, he stopped texting her back.

Needless to say, she got  _his_  message loud and clear.

She's pretty pissed, because,  _really_   _dude_? She wasn't pregnant. He ought to be celebrating. This was great news and it started her back on the pill.

She finds him after his music appreciation class, sitting in the quad and listening to music through his earbuds. He looks surprised to see her and scoots to make room for her.

"Hey, Becs."

She sits on his blanket uncomfortably, rethinking this whole confrontation thing. "Hey. You never texted me back."

He scratches his neck, looking apologetic. "Finals has me swamped."

"Dude, we both know that's not the reason," she challenges. "You're still pissed about the pregnancy test."

"Look, Becs. The subject has been dropped, remember?"

She sighs, frustrated. "Jesse, come on. Just tell me what about it has been bothering you. I'm here to listen; I don't want to fight."

"Why didn't you tell me?" The pained way he was looking at her made her feel awful, but she wasn't giving up this one. "I thought you trusted me."

"I do trust you, okay? I just have a lot on my plate right now, and I didn't think it would be important to mention unless, you know." She makes a curve outward her stomach with her hand.

"But that's the thing! If you were pregnant... Shit, Beca!" he buries his head in his hands, rubbing his temples rhythmically. "I don't know, okay? It freaked me out— it  _still_  freaks me out."

"God, Jesse. I just don't get it," she exclaims, getting up from her spot. He follows her, looking down at her with an equally challenging gaze. "I'm not pregnant and I'm back on the pill. Everything is fine. You're overreacting. It's none of your business anyways."

He gapes at her. "Are you  _serious?_ "

"Yeah. I gotta go, see you later," she turns her back on him, unable to see the look of hurt and disbelief on his face. She sucks it up and heads back to the Bella house, her ears red from all the angry thoughts speeding through her brain.

 _Whatever_ , she thinks to herself. She's got finals and set lists and mashups to worry about; she'll just let the stupid thing with Jesse pass on its own.

* * *

That is, until she winds up in a hospital bed.

As it turns out, thirty-six hours without sleep isn't a good thing.

She apparently passed out during Bellas practice. She tripped up the stairs wearing four-inch heels and couldn't be bothered to wake up after that.

So she's laying in a hospital bed, staring at her sprained ankle like it was roadkill, and her head was killing her.

The girls come by all at once, despite the hospital's orders for her to rest.

"We were really worried about you, flatbutt." Fat Amy frowns.

"You fell down the stairs and hit your head. It was scary, man," Cynthia-Rose says, squeezing Beca's arm affectionately.

"Beca, you don't have to overwork yourself. You need to rest," Chloe sighs. "We need you."

Beca sits up from the bed, wincing at the throbbing in her head. "Thanks for the concern, ladies. I'll try not to pass out again."

Jessica hands her a container of soup and bag of bread. She thanks the girls, who disperse around her small hospital room and argue over the remote control. They chat about how their finals went among other things, but Beca can't help but notice one person who  _wasn't_  in the room.

Part of her wants to ignore it, because they were still not talking to each other. However, (a large) part of her wishes Jesse was there, because this four-day grudge streak is really getting exhausting.

"Hey, Ames?" She beckons the blonde over, who was sitting at the base of the bed. "Does Jesse know?"

Her heart sinks a little when she hears Amy's next words. "We texted him a million times but your man hasn't replied. Sorry, flatbutt. I know you two have been rocky lately."

"I just don't get why he's so butt hurt over that. He should be celebrating that his guys didn't make it," Beca groans.

"Well, to be fair, if Bump— ahh, my significant other was maybe carrying my genetic specimen in their womb, I know I'd want to be there to find out," Amy reasons, much to Beca's dismay.

"Amy, you're supposed to be on my side."

The Australian shrugs.

The doctor comes by and orders the girls to leave so that Beca could get some rest. When she's left alone, she stares at her phone blankly.

Fine, so maybe she was really hurt over Jesse not visiting. She was only there overnight so that the doctor could monitor her sleeping properly, and she just really needed Jesse with her.

* * *

Her dad and Sheila visit her around dinner time, bringing her a burger and fries to munch on. Fortunately, her last final was earlier that morning, so she had no reason to not stay at the hospital overnight.

Unfortunately, she's pretty sure she bombed the whole thing considering the state that she was in.

* * *

She wakes up at nine after she feels a gentle hand brush over hers. When she opens her eyes, it's none other than Jesse himself, staring at her worriedly.

"I'm so sorry, Beca. I left my phone at the house while I was studying in the library, and I rushed over here as soon as I saw it," Jesse breathes, the panic in his eyes evident. "I'm so sorry, baby. I hope you can forgive me."

Beca responds by kissing him soundly on the lips, the feeling immensely gratifying after her day (and two weeks) of hell. "I can't say that I'm happy it took you so fucking long to get here, but," she pauses, her tongue trying to find the right words. "But, I'm happy you showed up, because I honestly didn't think you would."

"Of course I'd come. I snuck in after visiting hours, because that's how much I love you. I'm risking my life over here," he lets out a lighthearted chuckle. "To be honest, I wasn't sure if you would be too thrilled to see me."

"Life's too short to hold grudges," she smirks, beckoning him over. He moves from his spot seated on the armchair and onto the space next to her. He leans against the pillows, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"How are you doing?"

She shrugs. "My ankle is the size of a watermelon and I have an impressive concussion to prove how much of a klutz I am. Other than that, though..."

"You forgot to mention the sleep deprivation thing."

"Oh, that too."

The corners of his lips turn downwards disapprovingly. "Beca, what's going on?"

"I'm just stressed out," she sighs, partially because of the feeling of him massaging her fingertips. She drops her head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes briefly. "I'm doing all the work for the Bellas and I had four finals in four days. It's hell."

"I'm sorry, babe." He presses a kiss to her temple. "I'm sorry about freaking out the other day."

"Jesse, you don't have to apologize—"

"I kind of do," he says wryly. "I was a dick about it."

"You kind of were," she retorts lightly. "But I guess I know where you were coming from. You're my boyfriend; I should've told you about it and we should've gone through it together. I just didn't want you to worry."

"Who says I would've worried?"

She cocks an eyebrow at him. "You were totally freaking out. We're obviously not ready."

"Yeah, I know," he sighs, a dreamy smile on his lips. "But imagine a little me or you. They'd have your eyes and my love of movies.  _A ca-children_."

She's pretty sure the swelling in her chest wasn't a delayed reaction from tripping down a flight of stairs. Still, it was a weird feeling— talking about their future together. She knows that they could break up and she'd never see him again, but the possibility of that makes her head feel heavy and heart deflated. "Let's not talk about  _a ca-children_  until we're ready to, okay?"

"Okay," he hums. "I really am sorry, Beca. I wish I could've told you this earlier."

She could tell how guilty he felt from the way he was avoiding her eyes and by the way his fingers were fidgeting. She lowers herself down the pillows so that she was laying flat across the bed, draping an arm over his abdomen. She cuddles into his side, nestling her head in the space between his arm and body. "I'm just happy you're here now."

* * *

She wakes up a little after two in the morning. The lights are off in her room, with the only light illuminating from Jesse's laptop screen. She yawns, squinting at the boy next to her. He was watching the third Iron Man movie, which was surprising to her, considering the fact that she fell asleep near the beginning of the first one.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

He jolts a little when she says this, snapping out of his trance. He pulls the earbuds out of his ears and blinks at her, a little dazed. "Huh?"

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"I'm just... I feel bad about how I treated you for the past two weeks," he hesitates, avoiding her eyes yet again. She can still see the concern in his eyes, even with him turning away, making her frown. "I can't really rest easy knowing you're injured and sleep-deprived."

The guilt was clearly eating at him. She wants to desperately make it go away, but she's not sure how. "Jesse..."

"I'm just making sure you're comfortable through the night. It's okay, I'll get some sleep later."

"I'm fine, I promise," she gnaws on her bottom lip. Leave it up to Jesse to make sure she was getting a good night's sleep.

The gesture's a sweet one, and it makes her question how exactly she got so lucky to have someone like her nerd in her life. It makes her want to forget about their silent treatment for each other, and it makes her want to slap him for being so kind and caring all the time.

"Go to sleep, it's late." She shuts his laptop, glimpsing the look of reluctance on his face before the room completely went dark. She drapes the thin hospital sheet over him before resting back onto her pillows. "Please."

She feels him nod his head even though she can't see him, and his arms wrap around her small frame.

Still, her lips manage to find their way to his in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the hiatus, everyone. I'll try to get working on my prompts and I'll try to finish this fic by the end of the month.  
> Tell me your thoughts on this chapter in the meanwhile, comments/reviews motivate me to keep writing! Only three chapters left :-(


	8. you're a dork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beca's proud of him, she really is, but she can't help the feeling of impending doom closing around her chest.

**"you're a dork"**

Beca remembers the day Jesse turned in his application to USC's film school.

It was a week after the Bellas won semi-finals. Beca was at the Treble house, sitting beside Jesse on the edge of his bed. His finger was trembling slightly, and his eyes were trained on the laptop screen before him.

"I can't do it."

"Dude, just do it."

"I can't."

"You already put in your credit card information," she points out dryly. "All you have to do is click 'Submit.'"

"This could be a mistake."

"It won't be. The worst they can do is not accept you, and they'd be idiots not to."

He scrolls through his application one last time and turns the laptop to Beca. "You click it. You're like a good luck charm."

She raises an eyebrow at him, "You're a dork." She drags her finger over the touchpad before hitting 'Submit.' "There. Now, we wait."

* * *

They're still waiting about four months later, sitting on the Trebles' porch. The acceptance letters were posted online, but Jesse, being the stubborn guy he is, wanted to physically hold the letter in his hands, regardless of whether he was accepted or denied.

He grips her hand tightly when they see the mail guy turn the corner and park in front of the mailbox. The mail guy, Gary, gets out and sees the couple on the porch, opting to hand them the mail himself, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Hey there, you two. Waiting for me?"

Jesse nods wordlessly, his throat too dry for words.

"Thanks, Gary. Jesse's a little nervous to see his grad school letters," Beca says, smiling politely at the friendly old man. "He can't even speak."

"I see that," Gary laughs, patting Jesse hard on the back. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, kid. You're awesome at what you do, the both of you."

Jesse clears his throat, finally mustering up the voice to talk. "That means a lot. Thank you."

"No problem. I'll see you guys later!" And with that, the old mailman waves goodbye and drives away, leaving the two alone with a small stack of mail.

"Is it there?"

He pulls the letter from the pile, his hand shaking.

"I can't do it."

"I'm getting a weird sense of déjà vu."

"You open it, you're lucky."

She scoffs at that comment, but she can feel her own heart anxiously thudding against her chest. Graduate school was a huge deal, and if Jesse got in, he would only further his career, not to mention that it was his dream. She was nervous for him, she can't help it.

Her thumb slides underneath the envelope's fold, tearing at the paper messily. She pulls the letter out and expands it, her eyes skimming the letter nervously.

_Dear Mr. Jesse Swanson,_

_Congratulations, you have been accepted to the University of Southern California's Master Degree program for the School of Cinematic Arts. Out of the 3,000 applicants, you are among the 23 students selected to be admitted._

_We hope to be seeing you next Spring._

"What does it say?"

"Oh my God, Jesse! You made it!" She grins excitedly, shoving the letter in his hands.

He's completely still as he reads it, and Beca can't help but jump around him. She's completely elated for him, and when he's finally done reading, he's looking at her in disbelief, jaw propped open and everything.

"I," he chokes, still too shocked to say a complete sentence. "I'm going to film school?"

She laughs and nods. He sweeps her into his arms, her toes just brushing the floor as she hangs onto his neck. She's peppering kisses on his lips, grinning and laughing all the while.

"I can't believe this," he breathes into her hair before finally setting her onto her feet. "I didn't think they would accept me. There's absolutely nothing special about me so I'm kind of confused, but, wow."

"Shut up, you're amazing. You're the leader of the Trebles, you've got a sexy voice, and most importantly, your compositions are out of this world," she brushes her lips against his softly. "I'm so proud of you."

And she means that. She doesn't say it enough, but she means it, and she hopes he knows it.

* * *

But it's later that day, while Jesse's off at his summer English class, when the realization hits Beca.

Jesse's graduating early and leaving for California.

Like, that's a real thing that's happening.

Beca's an independent person; she doesn't need Jesse by her side every single day. She knows how to survive without him, hell, she did it for eighteen years. But the last three years? He wasn't always physically there, sure, but he was always  _there_. From the DVDs scattered around her room to strangers' Breakfast Club references, she always had some sort of reminder of him.

Not to say that the reminders would vanish, but in a way, they would. His DVDs would still be thrown about her room and Breakfast Club references would be said, but not having him to come to after a long day of Bellas practice and classes was  _odd_. She's gone without him for months at a time, but there was always the reassuring fact that he would be there eventually. She never missed him too much because she was comforted by the fact that he was always going to be there.

This time, it'll be different. He'll be on the opposite side of the country, and he was going to be staying there. Beginning a career there. Starting a future there. It'll be his home.

She was always sure that she was going to end up in Los Angeles, but with her maybe-internship with Residual Heat and her place with the Bellas and her family, Georgia was starting to feel like her home.

It's scary to think that they'll part ways. Jesse's the only guy she's actually loved (not that she would admit this out loud or anything. She has a reputation to uphold), and just the thought of him suddenly  _not_  being in her life was an uneasy feeling. She's not stupid, she knows long-distance relationships never last.

Maybe it'd be easier to let him go sooner, to slowly ease herself out of his life. She doesn't want to, but it's in the back of her mind.

* * *

When Jesse comes home later that day, she already has the celebratory champagne and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets out on the table. It was nice having food set out at the Treble house with all the guys gone for Summer break, mostly because the food wouldn't be gone in three seconds flat.

"This is nice," he comments, grinning at their fancy feast. "Five different dipping sauces, too. You're a culinary treasure."

She kisses his cheek swiftly, right where his dimple was. "Only the best dining experience BU has to offer."

He talks about the opportunities at USC over dinner, with Beca just listening to his excitement. Normally, his excitement was contagious, but she really can't help the feeling of sadness weighing her down. It's a mixture of fear and guilt, and it sucks, because she truly is proud of Jesse and his accomplishments.

But there's that nagging feeling again. She feels selfish for thinking about  _them_  and not just him. She hides it with a smile and a nod, but apparently Jesse can see right through her.

"Hey, you've been really quiet this evening... Are you okay?"

She swallows her feelings for the unpteenth time that night, opting for a nod. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He stays silent for awhile, swirling the last nugget in a pile of barbecue sauce. "We're gonna have to have the conversation sooner or later, you know."

She chews on her lip nervously. "I know."

She doesn't mean to sound small and pathetic and vulnerable, but it comes out that way. Jesse frowns and leads her from the table to the couch. His hands easily lift her onto his lap, and she instinctively curls into him.

"You're worried," he starts, brushing the hair out of her face. "It'll be fine.  _We'll_  be fine."

She doesn't question it for a long time. Instead, she lets him stroke her back and his eyelashes tickle her temple. The silence is comforting and relaxing, but still, she had her reservations.

"How do you know?"

"We'll make it work."

"Okay."

"I promise."

He sticks out his pinkie, waiting patiently for her to curl hers around it.

"I really am excited for you, Jess. I'm so proud of you."

"I know."

She slaps him playfully across the chest, pressing an ear to his to it. She listens to the soft  _thudthudthud_  of his heartbeat, feeling just a little better about the whole situation.

"We're going to have to set dates for your movications."

"And here I was hoping I'd finally be free from them."

"Never."

His confidence in them was remarkable and something she wished she had.

Somehow, she already felt like she was losing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm totally going with the missing storyline. And yes, it's going to get angsty.
> 
> I started writing a chapter where they just go to Hawaii, but I scrapped it in favor of an AU gif set on Tumblr. Go check it out under "Edits" on my blog, becasjesse . tumblr . com.
> 
> Anyways, what do you guys think this could mean for the happy couple? Will they last?!


	9. you're such a nerd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know that song by Bruno Mars called "The Lazy Song?" Yeah, that's how Beca feels, except instead of being lazy, she just doesn't want to leave at all.

** you're such a nerd **

Beca's last fall semester at Barden was great.

Okay, so Beca's boss at Residual Heat hardly pays attention to her, Sonia Sotomayor sent the Bellas hate mail, Das Sound Machine has an army full of giants in mesh, and, yeah, Fat Amy accidentally showed her lady bits to the President. So, a lot happened.

Actually, Beca's semester sucked.

The only good thing that came out of those four months was, well, Jesse. They didn't see much of each other, but they always made time to spend together.

For Thanksgiving, Jesse stayed with Beca at her dad's place while her dad and Sheila were on vacation. Naturally, Jesse insisted on making the turkey, and things went... Badly.

They ended up eating Thanksgiving dinner at a shabby restaurant. Beca used the burnt (only the good parts of it) Turkey scraps to feed her dad's dog, Ernie.

_("Becs, why is your dad's dog's name Ernie?"_

_"Is that not a normal name?"_

_"Not really."_

_"He named him after Hemingway."_

_"Oh."_

_"Yeah. He's a literature nerd."_

_"If we get a dog, can we name him Chewy? After Chewbacca?"_

_"Whatever you want, dude.")_

They go back to the West Coast to spend the holidays with their families. They were either at Beca's or Jesse's most of the time, with the drive from Portland to Seattle only being a four hour drive. They alternate every few days or so, and they hardly ever leave each other's sides.

Beca can't wrap her mind around Jesse leaving for USC in a month, but she doesn't voice this out loud. She spends most of her time trying not to remember that Jesse  _wasn't_  flying back with her to Atlanta this time around.

They spend Christmas eve at Beca's and Christmas at Jesse's. His parents get her a beautiful necklace that Beca's not sure she can accept, but Jesse convinces her that she deserves it, and that if she declined it, his parents would keep giving it to her every year until she finally accepted it.

(He doesn't tell her it's a family heirloom until much later.)

Jesse gets her a new set of headphones and a few new vinyls. Beca makes him a mix of songs on a flash drive and a set of new flannels to make up for the ones she's stolen over the years.

They spend New Year's Eve snuggled on the couch, watching the action unfold in NYC's Time Square on the television. They pop open a bottle of champagne at the strike of midnight and share kisses in tradition. With his parent's out, they have sex in his most utterly nerdy childhood bedroom, forever tainting the last of the room's innocence. Still, it's the best sex they've had all year.

It's January 14th now, the night before Beca has to leave for Atlanta. With her mother gone on vacation for the last week, Beca's been staying at Jesse's place. His parents were more than welcoming, and much to her pleasure, they give the two plenty of privacy instead of being nosy and strict all the time. The Swansons were definitely her kind of family.

"Could you hand me my bra?"

When she doesn't get a response, she turns to look at Jesse from her spot in his bathroom. Her eyes narrow when she sees that he hasn't moved at all on the bed, his bare back turned to the ceiling. He's too absorbed in his phone to hear her, so she takes a handful of q-tips and launches them at him to grab his attention.

He jumps a little when he feels them fall onto his back. "What was that for?"

"What are you doing? Don't tell me you just secretly recorded our sex tape and now you're sending it off to TMZ," she says, making him snort.

"Who needs TMZ when we've got John Smith and Gail Abernathy-McKadden?"

She rolls her eyes, hands on her hips. "I asked you if you could hand me my bra."

"Aw, but you look so good without it," he wiggles his eyebrows, much to Beca's amusement. She grabs another fistful of q-tips and gets ready to fire them at him before he puts his hands up, surrendering. "Alright, alright. I'm not really sure where it went, though."

He searches through the duvet and the floor around him, finally finding it under his bed. He makes an effort to get out of bed and hands it to her, pinching her ass before helping her put it back on. He wraps his arms around her torso, pressing kisses to her neck while she dried her face clear of face wash. "I don't want you to leave tomorrow."

She relaxes in his embrace, sighing. "I don't either."

He spins her around so that she was facing him. He kisses the tip of her nose gently, making her smile. "Is there any way you could stay a little longer? You know, ditch Barden, come to LA with me..."

"As tempting as that sounds," she pauses to kiss him on the lips briefly, moaning softly when he grinds his hips into hers. "I've still got business to take care of in Atlanta."

There's a playful glint in his eyes when he looks at her that makes her feel warm inside. She finds that it fades away quickly at the thought of not seeing him for the next few months. She's been dreading the moment, and having him wrapped around her with him looking at her like that.. it just wasn't helping her a whole deal.

She fights the urge to cry by looking away from his warm gaze. She unwraps herself from his grasp to lug him to the room, sitting on the carpet of his floor. He sits beside her, taking in the messy pile of clothing in her suitcase with a slow whistle. "Damn."

"If I ignore it, will it disappear?"

"I don't think so."

She groans. "How about I fold, and you pack? Deal?"

He nods, grabbing the duvet off his bed to wrap around themselves while they worked on packing. "You know how there's a three-hour time difference from Los Angeles to Atlanta?"

She nods dismissively.

"How are we going to schedule your movications?"

"We'll make it work, remember?"

"Yeah, but it's gonna be hard."

She stays silent for awhile, concentrating on folding a hoodie so that it was as small and compact as possible.

She's not really sure why it's so hard for her to deal with the whole situation. She's been left behind before; she's used to it. Beca's tough and knows how to adapt easily, but lately, she's been feeling weighed down. The more she thinks about not having Jesse around, the worse it feels. She's been so used to him being there for her for the past three and a half years, and, well, she doesn't want to think about it. Except, she has to, because Jesse's always bringing it up, whether it was about LA or scoring movies or whatever. She thinks maybe it's selfish to want him to stay in Atlanta, and when she's sure that's the case, the dread comes back like a vicious cycle and it overwhelms her.

"Yeah, it's gonna be hard," she echoes, eyes trained on the fabric in her hands. His hand squeezes her knee comfortably, a simple act that immediately calms her.

They're quiet for the remainder of the evening, packing in heavy silence until about one in the morning. When they finally make it to bed, they take sex slow. It's a different kind of sex; making love, as others might call it (although she hates that phrase, it's the only thing she can really call it). His eyes are trained on hers the whole time as he savored her body. She takes her sweet time with him, hands roaming along his skin, remembering every little dip and curve there was to keep to her memory.

It's sweet and nothing like she's ever felt before. When her breathing slows down and she's warm against his side, he murmurs "I love you" into her ear before dozing off.

* * *

His skin is warm and so is the smile he gives her when he realizes she's awake and in his arms. It's a stark contrast with her usual early morning grimace, but she waives her mood aside in favor of letting his fingers trace over her tattoos.

"G'morning," he yawns, shifting so that he could bury his face in her shoulder. He presses gentle kisses along her neck and a hand wanders to the tattoo right on the underside of her right breast. It's a soft touch, one that's gentle and sweet and comforting.

"Not yet," she mumbles, attempting to bury herself deeper underneath Jesse's duvet. "Too early."

There are two reasons why Beca doesn't want to get up from her spot.

One, that requires energy.

Two, it was going to be the last time she was going to be spooned against Jesse in a very long time. And quite frankly, she wants it to last.

"Sleep is for the weak," he says jokingly, his voice still groggy from a good night's sleep.

"No."

Her eyes are still shut when she feels him press a kiss to her temple and hands move to stroke along the length of her side. "Today's the day."

His hand snakes over her side and into her palm, intertwining their fingers together.

"Stop talking," she sighs. "Just sleep."

"Becs, you've got to say goodbye to my parents before they leave for work," he nudges lightly. She whimpers when he strips the covers off them, goosebumps appearing on her skin once the cool air hits her. She clings to him, curling up even tighter to keep herself warm.

"Babe..." His hand reaches to ruffle her hair affectionately. "Alright. Just five more minutes."

They end up staying for fifteen. She says goodbye to his parents and thanks them for letting her stay, to which they reply with "It's absolutely no problem, sweetheart. You're welcome any time."

Jesse and Beca get brunch at their favorite cafe before he drives her to the airport, parking a ways off from the terminal so that they were walking along a strip of grass. There was a light coat of snow on the ground, not enough to shut the city down, but enough to make everyone celebrate. They stop at the end of the grass pathway, a hundred or so feet from the drop-off.

His hands are deep in his coat pockets when he speaks. "So, this is it."

"Yeah, I guess so," she says cooly. She reaches and presses a chaste kiss on his lips, savoring the taste of him on her tongue.

He's blushing slightly when he pulls away, his hands finally wrapping around hers. "I believe the saying goes, 'If you're a bird, I'm a bird.'"

She swallows the lump in her throat to laugh at that, a genuine smile on her face. "You're such a nerd."

"So I've heard," he smiles back, but she could see his eyes saying otherwise. "I'll miss you so much, weirdo."

"It's only six months until Worlds, I think we can make it until then."

"Yeah, we're Jesse and Beca. We're Jesseca, remember?"

She groans. "I've been trying not to."

He chuckles and then bites the inside of his cheek, gazing at her with those chocolate eyes that made her want to crumble right then and there. He takes her in his arms, holding her tightly. "I love you so much, Beca."

She swallows hard, burying her face in his neck.

It's stupid, and she hates it.

She can't say it back because she's too busy choking for air.

Now, Beca's not a huge crier. She's only cried six times in her life, aside from her childhood, and one of those times was watching  _The Breakfast Club_  at three in the morning. Another one of those times was when she thought her boyfriend was eaten by a bear. So, Jesse's already managed to be tied to a third of those times, which was just god damn ridiculous.

It's strange, because she's not _really_  crying. She's shaking and she feels like her lungs were about to combust, but there are no tears coming out of her eyes aside from the two that somehow make it out of her tear ducts. He's rubbing her back rhythmically, and she never wants to let go.

Beca's been left before, and while it hurt badly last time, this kind of hurt was different. It wasn't anger or bitterness that was hurting her, it was sadness, and she doesn't know how to handle it.

So, she just lets him hold her, not letting go until she's finally aware of the people staring at them. He wipes the two tears away with his thumb and kisses her lips again, soft and firm at the same time.

"Hey, we agreed that we weren't going to be sad about this. I love you, okay?" She nods wordlessly. He presses one last kiss onto her lips before handing her her luggage. "Call me right when you get to Atlanta, promise?"

She nods again. "Promise."

"Good. I'll see you in six months in Copenhagen?"

"You better a ca-believe it."

* * *

When she gets to the Bella house, she finds a vase of flowers sitting on her bedside table. She smiles and rolls her eyes simultaneously when she reads the card.

_I know it's not a sex tape, but hopefully these flowers will do. -Love, your weirdo, Jesse._

_P.S.- Don't you forget about me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left! I'm quite impressed with myself for actually getting this far into a story and actually completing it in a short-ish amount of time, LOL. I'm not sure if I'll be adding an epilogue, but we'll see how things go.
> 
> Anyways, onto the story... I hope their goodbye scene was something you could imagine happening. I improvised the setting a little bit (I'm positive the movie version was in Atlanta, but I wasn't really buying the whole "there's snow in Georgia" thing. I mean, I read that it snows about once a year there, but still). Speaking of the snow scene, I'm still mad that Universal has not released it on ANYTHING! We keep seeing stills of the scene, yet we don't actually get it. Ridiculous. And just plain mean.
> 
> As always, tell me your thoughts/concerns/comments/questions :-) Thank you all for reading thus far into the story! Just like Jesse loves Beca, I love you all!


	10. i love you

**i love you**

It's days like these when Beca really wishes he was there.

It was three in the morning. Beca's been working on demos to give to her boss at Residual Heat, and all of them were awful. Everything she came up with sounded like shit, and with each try, she felt herself getting more and more frustrated.

It's been about three months since Jesse started school as USC. Beca will admit that adjusting to him not being there was a little hard. She would sometimes find herself halfway to the Trebles house in search of Jesse, only to realize that he was no longer there. It was weird not having him over every Friday night to watch movies with. It was weird not having him to vent to when she was fed up with the Bellas. It was weird not seeing his goofy face kiss her hello every day.

Of course, they talked as frequently as they could. It was just hard with their schedules, but especially with the time difference. There were far too many times where he'd try to FaceTime her in the middle of class because he had forgotten that he was three hours behind, or she'd try to call in the morning, only to realize that it was 4 AM in California.

So yeah, it was just another one of those extremely stressful days where she wanted to scream and hide under a rock to avoid living for the rest of her life.

Her heart sinks deeper and deeper with each ring, finally hitting rock bottom when she hears his voicemail and a beep. "Hey, it's me. You might not be able to hear this message, because it turns out I have nothing to say. That's music industry speak for 'I suck.'" Beca lets out a shuddery sigh, blinking back tears.

God dammit, here she is again with the crying.

"You're definitely asleep right now, text me when you're up." She hangs up just as Fat Amy scrambles up the stairs to their room, flushed in the face from running (at least, that's what Beca assumes).

Beca doesn't question where the Australian's been (or rather, who she's been with)

(...Bumper).

Instead, she lets her roommate comfort her with her butt confidence, and while she truly appreciates Fat Amy's help, Beca can't help but still feel a little down. It must've registered on her face, because Amy seems to notice immediately.

She scoots her bed beside Beca's, ignoring the brunette's confused look on her face. "Alright, Flatbutt. What else is bothering you? Don't you dare lie to me, either."

"Um, nothing," she tries, but apparently not very hard, because Amy pinches her hard on the arm. "Ow!"

"I said no lying."

"It's really nothing. I just miss Jesse, that's all."

Amy hums her sympathy. "It's been lonely without your man here."

"Yeah, but I'm glad he's off in LA. You know, living the dream and all," she says halfheartedly, staring blankly at the ceiling. "It's ironic how he's there and I'm here when just four years ago my only concern was to get to LA."

"I'm happy you stayed here, though. I don't know where I'd be without you, BM. Let Jesse do his thing and eventually everything will fall in line."

"Yeah..." Beca releases a puff of air from her cheeks. "I'm so proud of him, don't get me wrong. I just feel so selfish for saying that I wish he was here instead of there, especially at a time like this."

"Time like this?"

"You know, stressed all the time. Downfall of the Bellas, downfall of Beca Effin' Mitchell's music career, all that. He was really good at de-stressing me, you know?"

Fat Amy winks suggestively and thrusts her hips into the air. Beca sighs and buries her face into her pillow.

"Ah, man. You're not done having your little meltdown," Amy groans. "Was my butt confidence not enough? I've got jut confidence as well, plenty of it, I reckon."

"Jut?"

"The Obamas saw a lot of it. Got us banned from collegiate competition."

Beca wrinkles her nose. "Uh, I think I'm good."

"You know what you need, Flatbutt? A good smashing your back out."

"I'm not following?"

"Sex."

"Thanks for the offer, but I like dick."

"Crazy, so do I," Amy scoffs. "When are you seeing Jesse again?"

Beca sighs. "I think Worlds."

"Damn, that's months away. Why 'think?'" Amy's air quotes are sensed even in the darkness.

"He just got a job in LA and we're not sure if he'll be able to get away for a few weeks. I'm keeping my hopes low for now."

* * *

As it turns out, she was right to keep her hopes low.

"I'm so sorry, babe." Jesse says through the phone, clearly distressed by the way his voice cracked. "You know how much I want to be there. My boss is an asshole."

Beca bites her lip and folds her knees over her chest, curling into a ball on her bed. Even though she kept her hopes down low, she couldn't help but feel her heart break a little. She doesn't say anything for awhile, mostly because she has no idea  _what_  to say. It wasn't Jesse's fault, she knows that. She just wished that her life would just fall into line and actually go right for once, especially after the Bellas' performance at the old people event.

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"Yeah."

"You're mad."

She chews at her nails anxiously. "What? No," she starts, sighing because she  _knows_  what Jesse's face looks like right now. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was giving her a look of doubt. "Okay, I'm a little mad. At your boss."

"I'm so mad. There's nothing more than I want than to be there at Worlds, cheering you girls on in person. I really don't want to have to listen to John and Gail," he groans.

"Yeah."

"And I miss you," he says quietly. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You're still visiting in July, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it," she pauses, waiting for her heart to stop trying to combust in her chest from beating so fast. She feels like crying again, just because her life was probably falling apart. She still hasn't produced something amazing for her boss, the Bellas keep falling, and now Jesse won't be able to make it to Copenhagen.

"I just really need you right now," she sighs, her voice wavering, feeling the waterworks come on. "It would really help if you were here."

(The amount of tears she has shed over the past year has truly been ridiculous.)

She hears Jesse softly coo into the speaker while she continued to try to hold it together. It wasn't really helping, considering the fact that what she really needed right now was his arms around her and his lips on her skin. He suggests Skype, which she accepts. She takes a moment to make sure her makeup wasn't streaking before accepting the video call, smiling weakly when she sees Jesse's face on her screen. Immediately, she thinks it's a mistake, because just seeing him made her chest physically hurt from longing.

"Tell me what's been happening, Bec," he begs, his eyes pained behind the screen. "Just let it all out."

So she does. She starts out a little angry, then a little sad. It's hard with him not being there in person, but by the time she ends her long-winded rant, she feels a lot better.

He plays her something he's been working on on the piano to comfort her, which definitely calms her down. It's gentle, yet it screams  _Jesse_ , and it makes her chest ache even more. By the time their three and a half Skype call finishes, she's pretty sure he's said "I'm so sorry, baby," sixty seven times.

* * *

Beca gets over it eventually. She accepts the fact that it was just going to be her girls and Benji at Worlds, maybe a month or so after she was hit with the news. What she was still grappling with, though, was how she was trying to distance herself away from Jesse.

She hates herself for it, but she figures that it's the best thing to do. She wasn't going to be relocating to LA any time soon with her surge of success at Residual Heat, and with Jesse still in school, it was going to be hard to keep up a relationship. She loves him enough to let him go, and she was finally accepting that.

It doesn't mean that it was getting easier, though. It definitely wasn't. It was hard getting rid of the things that reminded her of him, even if it was a slow process. Most of Jesse's things were in a box under her bed, with the exception of  _The Breakfast Club_  DVD she stole right before he left for California. Their phone calls were getting less and less frequent over the course of two months. Jesse's made dozens of new friends, and Beca's happy for him. He's pursuing his dream, and she was just pursuing hers.

Still, she has those lonely nights where she wished he was there to hold her.

(Anyways...)

She's just graduated with her a ca-people, and now she's on a plane to Copenhagen. She's sharing her plane cabin with Benji and Emily because she figures they were going to be the least annoying during the eleven hour flight. Turns out that she was right, and she spends the the majority of the plane ride asleep or watching the in-flight movies. She and Benji watch  _Star Wars_  together, and she lets Emily listen to some of the music she was working on. The flight is long, but it's not awful; it's just the way Beca likes it.

* * *

It's not until the day of the competition until she begins to panic. If she was being honest, she was totally feeling like the projectile-vomit era of Aubrey Posen, and by the looks of it, Aubrey had nothing to be stressing about compared to Beca right now. There were tens of thousands of people waiting, and it's just hit her that the Bellas' fate rests solely on whether they win or lose.

 _Holy shit_ , Beca thinks to herself.  _The_   _Bellas could be no more if we lose_.

Luckily, right on cue, Jesse gives her a call.

"BECAW!" he croons into the phone. "IT'S ALMOST TIME!"

"Hi to you too, weirdo," she muses, grinning at the energy he was emitting from the phone. "Wish you were here to experience it all."

"If only, right? Instead I'm making my room mate watch it live with me," he chuckles. "I miss you."

"Miss you too, dork." The smile on her face fades away, replaced by a half-frown and heavy sigh. "I'm so nervous, Jesse. The Bellas' future is at stake. If we fuck up, it'll be over. The end. Fin."

"You know I'm a firm believer of the saying 'Endings are the best part,' but even I know that no matter what's going to happen on that stage tonight, the Bellas will prevail. You always do," he says calmly, and Beca could just imagine the encouraging smile on his face. "You girls will rock it tonight, and you're going to win this whole thing. I made bets with everyone here."

"You're ridiculous."

"I'm an optimist, what can I say?"

"You're a ridiculous optimist."

"I'm your ridiculous optimist.

"Alright, enough. How much did you bet?"

He snickers. "A lot."

She groans. "Jesse!"

"Kidding. When do you get on stage?"

"Another few hours or so."

"I should probably leave you be, then. I'll talk to you later, after you're crowned world champion," he grins through the phone. "Good luck, Becs."

"Thanks, Jess."

* * *

Wow.

_Wow._

That was a performance of a lifetime.

Emily's "Flashlight" was a hit, and along with the former Bellas and Benji's successful flashlight distributions, her final performance as a Barden Bella was truly the best yet. She's thinks she might be crying, she can't really tell with Fat Amy and Emily squishing her to death on stage. She was riding such a high, a mixture of relief, ecstasy, and adrenaline all jumbled together.

The Bellas totally have this win in the bag.

She thinks,  _nothing can get better than this._

Until she spots him in the crowd, waving an American flag around his back, yelling her name hysterically.

And suddenly, all she can hear is him screaming "YEAAAAAH!" Her face softens, the jumble of feelings dissolving at just the sight of Jesse. He's red in the face from yelling so much, and he looks absolutely ridiculous with all of his American flag clothing, but she doesn't care. He's there, in person,  _in Copenhagen_.

She has everything now: her music career, her girls, and now her boyfriend.

She runs off stage with the rest of the girls and gives a joint speech with Amy and Chloe backstage, finally letting the tears fall as the girls huddled around each other for a group hug. Everything is tears and laughter, and Beca's so sure that nothing will ever top this moment.

It takes an hour until they're officially crowned world champions of a cappella. The girls stay on stage for pictures and autographs, and she's too busy absorbed in signing a young girl's shirt to realize that Jesse's standing right in front of her.

"Told you, endings are the best part," he yells smugly once she finishes, his hands deep in his shorts pockets.

She breaks out into an even bigger grin at the sight of him and runs straight for his arms, nearly knocking him over. He immediately holds her in his arms, letting her wrap her legs around his waist. She grips his neck for support, burying her face against his chest.

"Oh my God, oh my God," she breathes, the tears finding their way down her cheeks again. "Oh my  _God_. You're... You're  _here_. What happened to my 'no surprises' rule?"

He wipes away the streaks on her cheeks with his thumbs, sprinkling her with kisses. "Do you really think I'd let my asshole boss tell me what to do? I thought I'd break all the rules for once."

She laughs wholeheartedly, pressing her lips firmly against his, relishing the taste of him after six long months without him. When they finally let go, she releases her legs from his torso and stands firmly on the floor as her chest swells pathetically between them. "This is the best surprise ever. I can't believe you're  _here_."

"You better aca-believe it."

"You're such a weirdo." She feels warm and cozy, and while it might just be the adrenaline, she knows it's a feeling she's never felt before. He's still holding her in his arms, and her head's tilted up to look at him. They don't say anything for awhile, they just grin goofily at each other, momentarily forgetting that they're in public. All that she was concerned about was the fact that Jesse was there, in person, looking at her like she was the only girl in the world. Everything about her life right now is perfect.

"I love you," she says after a newfound boost of confidence strikes her. She's not afraid anymore- nothing's holding her back.

Her heart is racing, in a good way. "I love you so fucking much, Jesse. Holy shit, that feels so good to say."

And it's true, she's never felt better. She's not sure what was holding her back, but she knows that it felt so much better finally saying it.

She swears she can hear fireworks going off in his brain when she sees his face register what she's just said. His smile stretches from ear to ear, and his eyes are bright and sparkling. "I love you, too, Beca."

* * *

Over the past four years, she's discovered a few things.

She loves the Bellas.

She loves  _Jesse._

And she loves her dad, for giving her everything she didn't believe she needed but gave it to her anyways.

Turns out, going to college was a great thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, everyone! Kidding, there's an epilogue on the way. I'll have it up once I get to 30 reviews on FF.net (same pen name).


	11. epilogue

**epilogue**

Beca stopped saying "I love you" when she was fifteen years old, or more specifically, when her father left.

She's twenty-five now, and the phrase has finally familiarized itself on her tongue again.

She's always scared that one day, she's going to stop using that phrase in the same way that she stopped using it back when she was fifteen. She was scared of the betrayal and the hurt; she was scared of losing what she loves the most.

So, she packs her bags and finally moves to Los Angeles to pursue what she loves, and to be with the person she loves.

* * *

"You look hot," Beca comments dryly, fanning herself with her program.

"Aw, thanks babe," Jesse replies back, a smug smile on his face.

She rolls her eyes. "Seriously, it's hot as fuck. I would probably die of heat stroke if I were you."

He's decked out in a black robe and mortarboard, with his khaki pants peeking from underneath. His family is in the city to attend his big event, and with the ceremony being in the evening, they're taking pictures while the sun is still out. It's about 102º, and Beca was about to pass about from the heat.

"I thought I'd be able to handle this heat after bearing Georgia's summers, but, shit, I was  _wrong,"_ She groans, leaning a cheek onto Jesse's shoulder as his parents, oblivious, continued taking snapshots. "How are you not dead?"

"Eh, you get used to it," he smiles, eyes towards the camera's clicking. "Also, I have two cooler packs strapped on."

She gapes at him, an expression that finally gets his parents to stop with the pictures. "Share. Now."

"You're not the one graduating here, so..."

She scowls. "You're lucky I love you."

* * *

When they call Jesse's name, his family is the first to jump up and scream. Beca joins about a beat behind, unable to keep the smile on her face from growing.

Beca's not one for big gestures, so she sticks with what she's comfortable with. "Nothing's gonna stop my dude!" She yells out in the crowded room, grinning widely when Jesse turns his head to look at her from the stage. He sends her a wink, smiling brightly at her as he strolls to meet his diploma. He pumps his fist into the air, his diploma in hand, with his eyes focused solely on Beca's beaming face.

The ceremony ends about an hour later, and it's not hard to find Jesse among the small pool of graduates. His parents are beaming with pride, and his siblings offer him teasing jokes and their congratulations. Benji, along with Emily, has managed to make it just before the ceremony began, and he was sharing his congratulations with his best friend. Beca watches the interactions unfold patiently, only offering him a congratulatory kiss when he's not caught up in all of the chaos and his family is mingling amongst each other.

"Congratulations, Mr. Fancy Pants Grad Student. I hope this thing," she gestures to his diploma, "doesn't give you the excuse to be a grade-A asshole."

He snickers. "You never let me have any fun."

"I let you have fun sometimes," she winks. She presses a kiss to his cheek, suddenly feeling warm in her chest. Her heart swells when he laces his fingers with hers, looking at her like she was the only person in the room. "Speaking of having fun, will you be over at my place tonight?"

"Aw, you can't promise fun if my family is staying at my place for the rest of the weekend. That's mean."

"You can't sneak out for a couple of hours? Come on, break the rules for once."

He shakes his head, chuckling softly. "Well, if you insist."

"You know," she starts, nonchalantly blowing out some air, "we wouldn't have this problem if you, you know, would move in with me."

He stares at her, his head cocked to the side like some sort of lost puppy. He's looking at her as if he was debating whether or not she was joking, thoroughly amusing Beca. "Wait, seriously?"

"Yes."

"Like,  _seriously_  seriously? Like, you're going to make room for my movie collection and my popcorn maker and everything? And we get to wake up to each other and maybe get a pet and  _movications all the time?_  That type of thing?"

"Yes, that type of thing."

He grins excitedly, smacking a messy kiss onto her lips. "Of-fucking-course I'll move in with you."

* * *

She's twenty-nine when she's starts to panic about that one three-worded phrase again.

"Shit," she murmurs, staring at the pregnancy test, clearly displaying two straight lines. She tests two more, only confirming her dread. She heads straight for the clinic, finally getting a firm confirmation that she is, indeed, pregnant.

It's got to be the worst timing ever, because she's just shunned Jesse to the couch after getting into a silly fight with him the night before. And while she's great at keeping a grudge, she couldn't exactly keep this a secret, even if she tried.

Naturally, they've talked about having kids. She wasn't a huge fan of the idea, but as time went on, she warmed up to it. They agreed on early to mid thirties, when both of them were bigger names in the industry. Beca's music has been heard all over the globe, thanks to her reputation at Residual Heat and for being a star Barden Bella, but Jesse's still taking his time getting up there. It wasn't like he was struggling— he's scoring movies for indie films, which is amazing for his age— but he was still making a name for himself. She doesn't want this pregnancy, and ultimately, child, getting in the way of their career, and honestly, she was terrified.

She's terrified that this baby could be what ruins them in the end.

She decides to take out her worries on eating a ton of pasta until he gets home that day.

"Becs, are you here?"

"Yeah, I'm in the office."

She hears his footsteps gradually coming, jolting her to get rid of all of her boxes of microwaved filth. She's just shoving her last box down the trash when he catches her in the act.

"What are you doing?"

"Um, nothing."

His eyebrows are knit together as he approaches her, puzzled. "You're hiding something."

"Fine. I ate all of the boxed dinners."

She sees the corners of his mouth twitch, but his lips remain in a straight line. They're not exactly over their fight from last night, and clearly, he wasn't so easy to back down. "Okaaay. Can I ask why?"

Her palms begin to sweat. She blinks slowly, moving her way to her office chair. "Yeah," she pauses, fighting to keep her voice steady and calm. "I'm eating. For two."

He stares at her blankly for a moment, but it soon dawns on him and his eyes go from hers to her stomach. "You're... Eating for two?"

"You heard me."

"So, like, what you mean to say..."

She throws a pregnancy at him, which he catches against his chest.

He looks at the stick in shock. "Are you joking with me right now? Because I swear to God, if you're lying, I'm going to be really upset."

Beca sits straight in her spot, her heart beating rapidly. "You'd be upset? So, you're... You're down for this?" She gestures to her stomach, a bump nonexistent at this point.

"Are you kidding? Of course I am!" He finally breaks into a grin, rushing to press kisses onto Beca's lips.

She laughs lightheartedly, loving the way he was looking at her at this very moment. Still, she can't help the gnawing feeling in her stomach. "Are you sure? Are you absolutely positive about this?"

His eyes meet hers, as if they were saying "yes." He gets on his knees and gently rolls her shirt up to reveal her milky skin, propping his chin on her knees. "Hi there, future aca-child. I love you. Wow, this is weird. Is this weird? Tell me if this is weird."

She laughs. "A little."

He sighs happily, kissing her the center of her stomach instead. Immediately, she feels her insides explode from the kind of warmth that only Jesse can give her, although it's more intense this time. He lifts her off the chair, sits in it himself, and then places her on his lap. His hands circle her waist, resting firmly on her abdomen.

"Remember the last time I took one of these?"

He stares at the stick thoughtfully, now lying flat on her desk. "Yeah. That was a fun time, right?"

"Not really," she says wryly, her head against his chest. "We were both being stubborn assholes."

"Well, even though you didn't tell me about this time," he rubs her abdomen gently, "I'm still happy. I'm happy beyond belief."

She smiles, reaching up so that she could place a kiss along his jawline. "Honestly, I'm a little worried. Do you think we're ready for this?"

He shifts so that he's facing her, with his back against the armrest of the chair. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, an earnest expression on his face. "I do. I know we agreed on a little later, but who knows? Maybe this is meant to happen."

"I hope so."

"I just hope having a child won't get in the way of our careers, as selfish as that sounds. And I know we're financially stable enough to support a kid, but..."

"We'll make it work. Having a baby will not be a problem, I guarantee you. We're Jesse and Beca. We're Jesseca, remember?"

She nods and stays quiet for awhile, resigning her head to his shoulder.

"We're going to be amazing parents, Beca. I hope you know that. I'm not your dad and you're not your dad. He or she is going to be the most loved kid out there. We're going to have the best family ever. But maybe most importantly, though," he leans in to kiss her forehead gently, "You're going to be the best mother. I know this because I have never met anyone as loving as you are, Beca."

In that moment, all traces of doubt vanish from her mind. She offers a small smile, struggling to keep herself from crying. "I love you."

He kisses her affectionately. "I love you, too."

"So, we're doing this?"

"Absolutely.

* * *

They name her Aria.

She's just under eight pounds, with rosy, plump cheeks and bright sapphire eyes. When she smiles, she looks just like Jesse, down to the way her eyes crinkle at the corners and the way her cheeks dimple. She's perfect.

And for the second time in her life, Beca falls in love.

* * *

As expected, Jesse's a perfect dad. He makes sure Aria goes to sleep with a bedtime story and a lullaby every night. Beca takes Aria to Jesse's studio every Saturday morning, where the little girl occupies herself to her father's mess of instruments. Afterwards, they head to the park if it's a nice day, or to a movie on a rainy day. It's like this for the next three years, with Aria growing to love music as much as her parents do.

It's the year 2025, and Jesse's finally made his mark in the big films. He's working on a movie for kids movie for a big name studio, while Beca continues making strides up the Billboard pop music charts. They're happy, but busy, and when an invitation comes in the mail one day, they don't actually take the time to look at it until a week later.

Beca waits for the lights in Aria's room to dim to bring attention to the invitation. "Jesse, have you seen this?" Beca calls quietly as to not wake her child, studying the card one more time and fixing her eyes onto the big, fancy font that read "ten year reunion" and "Barden University" in one sentence.

Jesse appears a few seconds later, padding his way to her side of the bed. She hands him the card, waiting for his reaction.

"Hmm," he hums, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Has it been ten years already?"

"I guess so."

"Damn, Beca. We're old," he chuckles, shielding himself away from her pinching fingers. "Well, are we going?"

She shrugs. "We see a lot of our friends anyways, I don't see the reason to. All Barden is going to do is try to milk as much alumni donations as possible out of us. But if you want to, we can."

"I kind of do. It would be a great opportunity to pump our egos as successful human beings," he jokes, unsuccessfully deflecting Beca's death pinch. "Ow! Okay, okay. I'll talk to the group, see if they're up to it. It'll be fun reuniting with the rest of the gang who didn't make it out to LA or left Georgia. Aria would have a lot of fun at the barbecue, too."

"I guess you're right. We'd have to clear out our schedules for the weekend, but it would be nice to visit family, too. Aria hasn't seen my dad since last Thanksgiving."

"So that settles it, then? We're going?"

"I think so."

* * *

Barden is just as Beca remembers it. It's green and bright and big, with looming buildings and the same statue of the heroic Barden Knight mascot.

She's waiting outside the dorms, where her father said she'd meet her for lunch. Aria's on a play date with Chloe, Cynthia-Rose, and Amy's kids, while Jesse's catching up with Donald and Benji somewhere. Her dad texts her saying that he's running a little late, and so she's left on the sidewalk outside Baker Hall.

"Don't you cry no more, no!"

She turns her head to meet the sound of the crooning, her ears immediately burning red when she sees where, or rather,  _who_ , it's coming from.

Jesse's pulled up in a car, with Donald and Benji in the driver's seat. Jesse's playing his air guitar, eyes directly set on Beca's confused face.

Donald speeds off, throwing Jesse to the back of the seat and leaving Beca staring at the engine in the distance.

_What the fuck_ , she thinks to herself, taking her phone out to text her boyfriend the same thought. Her eyebrows are knit together, her mind whirling after witnessing the most random thing she's ever seen.

"Mommy, mommy!" Suddenly and out of the blue, Aria's running towards Beca, with Aria's pigtails bobbing as she hobbles towards her mother clumsily. Beca sees Chloe's car parked nearby, staring at it quizzically when no one else gets out of it.

Beca manages to catch the bumbling toddler in her arms, too busy checking over her daughter to notice the man walking to her direction.

"Hi daddy!"

"Hey, princess," Jesse grins, smacking a loud kiss onto his daughter's chubby cheek before turning to kiss Beca.

Beca sets the child down, letting Aria hold onto her finger. "What the  _fuck?"_  She mouths, frowning at Jesse's sudden appearance.

Jesse ignores her, instead turning to his daughter. "You ready, kid?"

Aria nods excitedly, watching as her father gets onto one knee.

Beca's jaw drops, and her heart starts beating rapidly. The blush finds her cheeks almost immediately, and as much as she wanted to start speaking, she finds that she's lost her voice in the heat of the moment.

"Hi, Becs. A little under ten years ago, we officially met, right at this very spot. I was in the back of a car, and you were just about standing where you're standing now. I sang to you, and you looked at me the same way you're looking at me right now– confused as... heck." He glances at the young girl warily, smiling a little at the half-grin Beca was wearing. "Little did I know that this fateful interaction would lead to what we are today. We're Jesse and Beca, we're–"

"It's been over a decade, Jesse. Don't say it," she rolls her eyes playfully, shaking her head as he chuckled.

"Right. We're Jessecaria, isn't that right?" Aria nods, giggling, before handing over the velvet box to her father's open palm.

"I love you, Beca. I love our family, and I love you. I love you so much, and I want to marry you if you'll let me, because, I... I love you," he rambles, the nerves clearly showing as he opens the box to reveal the ring, a beautiful silver band with two diamonds on either side of a larger one, reflecting brightly at Beca. "Will you marry me?"

"Us," Aria chimes in, grinning cheekily at her parents.

Beca's heart hammers in her chest, and despite this, she nods, finally letting go of the breaths she was holding in in exchange for a few stray tears. He slips the ring onto her finger, taking her into his arms. He kisses her gently, her chest warming at the sensation.

"You're the worst," she mumbles into the kiss, with a smile gracing her lips. "But I love you too, weirdo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done! I accidentally did the thing where I slept through an entire week without working on my writing, oops. Forgive me, I'm not usually an asshole. Well, at least not in that way. Lol.
> 
> Anyways, I hope that warmed your hearts. Thank you for the love you've all given this story, I truly appreciate it. You guys have been so supportive and I appreciate every one of you in our tiny, but mighty, Jeca community.
> 
> I got the idea for this story from a Tumblr text post here: comlcsans.tumblr.com/post/111934513213/how-i-say-i-love-you-to-my-friends
> 
> Special shoutout to cuticlecareenetwork, marsbarr, and cruisingturtle for their kind words with every chapter and for being just wonderful in general. I'd also like to give a shoutout to bonesgadh for always being up for a good chat, and to grace-summer10 on Tumblr for their sweet encouragement.
> 
> Now that this fic has finally come to an end, I'll be trying to focus on filling all of my prompts and hopefully getting back into Mandatory Health Class.
> 
> Reviews are, of course, always appreciated. Give this story some final love ;-)
> 
> I'll see you all very soon!

**Author's Note:**

> I've been debating on whether or not to post this as a two-shot or as individual chapters, but I figured that I'd never end up finishing this unless I got it out in the open already. So here it is! This will be ten chapters, chronicling Jesse and Beca's relationship throughout their college years through Beca's POV. Chapters vary in length.
> 
> Updates should come about once every week.


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